If liability was ever really the issue, then why is it still a problem when accountability is taken through the signing of a waiver? *Clearly* it's because the real issue was never the possibility of being sued. *Obviously* the issue was personal dislike of other people expressing themselves and excercising their civil liberties when the others' ideals conflict their own.
The problem must then be that there would be a loss of power that the majority would have in supressing the individuality of the minority,and this causes a fear..Fear of anarchy, of chaos,of loss of social acceptance and security. But can't they understand there may exist such a thing of ordered chaos,and that it was upon this principle,in fact,that this very country was founded? Can't they open their eyes to their hypocrisy and the way they're ruthlessly destroying everything it had once meant to be American with their thirst for control?
Change needs to be fought for,now,and by me,otherwise we will only continue to destroy our own freedom with each passing day. I really,REALLY,don't want to standby complacently and watch humanity destroy itself any longer.
Squaring of the circle.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Truth cannot be objective
Truth=value/meaning, value/meaning=subjectively given, subjectively given=relative to perspective, relative to perspective=influenced by difference, influenced by difference=biased,biased=not objective,not objective=not absolute, truth=not absolute
truth=reality, reality=perception of reality,perception of reality=subjective perspective, subjective perspective=bias, bias=personal belief,personal belief=non-objective truth,non-objective truth=non-objective reality,non-objective reality=non-objective value,non-objective value=subjective value, subjective value=meaning of reality, meaning of reality=subjectively given meaning of reality, so..
truth=subjectively given meaning of reality
truth=our subjective interpretation of reality
truth=relative to interpretation from specific perspective of reality
and
truth =/= objective
Reality =/= absolute
objective truth =/= reality
reality =/= objective reality
meaning =/= truth
however,meaning is the truest truth we could know,so
if meaning=subjective truth,subjective truth=what we define it as,
meaning= what we define it as
but meaning cannot objectively mean anything,
so people really should stop impressing their values on other people
and people should recognize "truth" can only be known subjectively,
and that "knowing truth" is really "knowing bias"
which really means we know nothing, objectively.
When you know everything,you understand nothing(understanding is objective),
so when you understand everything,you must know nothing,and to know nothing,
you must not give meaning or discriminate/bias.
Difference is an illusion,the product of meaning,and the result of the bias that is a part of being human; of perceiving,and acknowledging, difference.
truth=reality, reality=perception of reality,perception of reality=subjective perspective, subjective perspective=bias, bias=personal belief,personal belief=non-objective truth,non-objective truth=non-objective reality,non-objective reality=non-objective value,non-objective value=subjective value, subjective value=meaning of reality, meaning of reality=subjectively given meaning of reality, so..
truth=subjectively given meaning of reality
truth=our subjective interpretation of reality
truth=relative to interpretation from specific perspective of reality
and
truth =/= objective
Reality =/= absolute
objective truth =/= reality
reality =/= objective reality
meaning =/= truth
however,meaning is the truest truth we could know,so
if meaning=subjective truth,subjective truth=what we define it as,
meaning= what we define it as
but meaning cannot objectively mean anything,
so people really should stop impressing their values on other people
and people should recognize "truth" can only be known subjectively,
and that "knowing truth" is really "knowing bias"
which really means we know nothing, objectively.
When you know everything,you understand nothing(understanding is objective),
so when you understand everything,you must know nothing,and to know nothing,
you must not give meaning or discriminate/bias.
Difference is an illusion,the product of meaning,and the result of the bias that is a part of being human; of perceiving,and acknowledging, difference.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
4D is real. Reading this with an open mind will let you find it as I did. You can hack reality..
1)Life is merely the perception of living.
2)When we view something as being distinct from the self,it becomes seperate from us,and no longer a part of us.
EX: We can't be strictly our actions because our intentions *aren't always properly conveyed* by them. We can't be strictly our intentions for that same reason[DISTANCE/difference]. We aren't our emotions,because we can understand we may feel a certain way *without it automatically defining* how we will act or react to things[RATE/speed of affect]. We can't only be our thoughts,because our thoughts do not always move our bodies, and we can't be our thoughts because our thoughts are symbolized by concepts we've *connected with emotions after learning*[TIME/past vs. present vs. future].We may be the collection of all parts of the self and body we perceive,which is perception that reacts to compensate for the changes of, and influence, the other variables that alter it[PERCEPTION/perceptions of distance,rate,and time].
3)The whole must exceed the sum of its parts if the parts are to be considered distinctly from each other. In order for the perception of truth(1D) and lies(2D) to exist,there must be a third degree(3D) or a third dimension: a degree of relative understanding, to know of the other two degrees and view them as also being distinctly from the whole of the self..
To fully understand what the third degree entails, and be able to seperate from it,there must be a fourth degree(4D) free from a limitation of the third.
4)As a product of perception,every single "truth" we learn must be an illusion and falsity,yet subsequently,it could still the truest truths we could possibly know in the way it would be considered truth.
5)God,to exist in the dimension of perfection or perfect truth,must be free from the sin of perception(bias and discrimination,focusing on only part of a whole set of truths).
-To know everything is to understand nothing.
-To understand everything is to know nothing.
-To know nothing is to understand everything.
-To understand nothing is to know everything.
(also,this explains why people with savants have problems with semantic processing)
6)One cannot understand a meaning objectively,because meaning is the product of subjectivity.
7)Meaning is the product of perception.
8)Perception organizes(defines) physiological sensation.
9)We have 6 senses: vision,hearing,smelling,tasting,kinesthetic, and perception. Perception is the sixth vital sense,because without it would not perceive the others. Perception is our mind's ability to form schemas, connect ideas to each other,and form concepts.. to LEARN and to understand,because we all must learn to understand.
10)The purpose of life,since life without doing it would not be known,is to give life meaning.
11)Objective truth cannot be learned, only known,and it was known to all at birth universally as it is unconditionally true,regardless of situation,and is unaffected by perception or the passing of time.
12) Discovering truth gives us the perception a choice.
13) Every force,every action has an opposing reaction.
14) A universe,functioning under the law of opposing relative forces,must objectively be neutral.
15) Any perception of difference existing in a dimension of neutrality is an illusion.
16) If we realize something is an illusion, we have the option to give it the meaning we choose.
17) Without discovering contrasting differences by finding ways familiar looking situations aren't as similar as they may initially appear,we would not be able to discriminate because we would not have made the effort to identify which details were different when we defined a situation in the past and we would not understand the difference between the past and the present. In not seeking difference, we give up the ability to choose what we believe,and what we believe/expect becomes our reality. This reality denies the passing of time without understanding the consequences of doing so,and causes pain that would eventually lead us back to the pursuit of a deeper understanding. When we give up understanding,we give of the ability to know of choice,and we give up control we may take over our own reality: our perceptions.
18)Objective truth is not affected by perception of truth.
Combining some of the previous concepts...
The universe is not governed by the laws of its inhabitants(the laws change because of time,but the universe is constant,therefore unconditional). The universe is defined by its inhabitants(the definitions are conditional). The universe could not understand its own laws because the universe does not perceive(perception is conditional). Because the universe does not perceive(it displays true objectivity unconditionally,and its state of existence is unaffected by the flow of time and what happens in our personal lives),it permits all possible definitions to be given(the passage of time to be perceived). The laws of the universe experienced by its inhabitants reflect all possibilities of subjective truth to be given,yet none of these are objectively true. Subjective truth cannot be objective. Subjective truth is all we can personally know,but objective truth is experienced by all and is not personal. Objective truth is that perception exists and that all consequences of perception exist mutually. Objective truth is partially the idea that because of difference,no man can know everything,and all men must learn to make sense of that which isn't objectively true and automatically known. Subjective and objective truth are inversely related. The greater degree to which we discriminate,the more biased we are by perception, the less open we are to the accepting the whole of truth. If seeking truth is our meaning,however.. then you must give up meaning to find it,and sacrifice the hope of gain.
However..
The typical human mind cannot tolerate the idea of its body's senseless suffering. Afterall,without sensing,how could we perceive suffering? It is wired to react to pain because it is wired to perceive it. It is wired that way as a product of evolution. Evolution exists because we exist in a dimension of perceived change.. it's the product of energy reacting to energy to preserve neutrality.
Objects don't MAKE sense;our perception makes sense of our body's sensing of objects.
Stimuli don't MAKE sense;our perception makes sense of our body's sensing of stimuli(sensation).
Stimuli are sensed,then defined.
So,we may come to the conclusion that:
We have to feel to make sense of feeling, and we have to have felt to make sense of what we feel.
We have to feel(sense) to make sense(determine meaning) of a feeling(sense),
and we have to have felt(sensed) to make sense(determine meaning) of what we feel(sense).
We have to have felt(sensed) to know(determine meaning) of feeling(sensing).
We have to have experienced sensation before to define,or determine the meaning of, what experiencing sensation means.
The mind cannot define what it has never known to be experience.
But if we define(discriminate from novelty) that we have defined the meaning of sensation before(that the past is different because this time the meaning had already been defined), we discover we have the choice to redefine the situation(discriminate,determine new meaning),or reinforce the same meaning we had already discovered before.
Time could not exist without perception,and perception(difference) could not perceive existence without the perception of time and the perception of rate of change.
Distance(perception of) by(multiplied by) Rate(perception of) is(equals) Time(the perception of)
Distance= D, Rate= R, Time=T,Perception= p,by= multiplication,of= multiplied by,and equals= "="
Dp=Rp x Tp
Rp= Dp / Tp
Tp= Dp / Rp
Also,distance per(/) time=speed (ex: miles per hour),so rate=speed.
As opposed to 3 conditions(degrees) of reality, there are actually 4 conditions(degrees). The fourth dimension(4D) is perception. Lacking any of these variables,none of them would be known to exist.
2)When we view something as being distinct from the self,it becomes seperate from us,and no longer a part of us.
EX: We can't be strictly our actions because our intentions *aren't always properly conveyed* by them. We can't be strictly our intentions for that same reason[DISTANCE/difference]. We aren't our emotions,because we can understand we may feel a certain way *without it automatically defining* how we will act or react to things[RATE/speed of affect]. We can't only be our thoughts,because our thoughts do not always move our bodies, and we can't be our thoughts because our thoughts are symbolized by concepts we've *connected with emotions after learning*[TIME/past vs. present vs. future].We may be the collection of all parts of the self and body we perceive,which is perception that reacts to compensate for the changes of, and influence, the other variables that alter it[PERCEPTION/perceptions of distance,rate,and time].
3)The whole must exceed the sum of its parts if the parts are to be considered distinctly from each other. In order for the perception of truth(1D) and lies(2D) to exist,there must be a third degree(3D) or a third dimension: a degree of relative understanding, to know of the other two degrees and view them as also being distinctly from the whole of the self..
To fully understand what the third degree entails, and be able to seperate from it,there must be a fourth degree(4D) free from a limitation of the third.
4)As a product of perception,every single "truth" we learn must be an illusion and falsity,yet subsequently,it could still the truest truths we could possibly know in the way it would be considered truth.
5)God,to exist in the dimension of perfection or perfect truth,must be free from the sin of perception(bias and discrimination,focusing on only part of a whole set of truths).
-To know everything is to understand nothing.
-To understand everything is to know nothing.
-To know nothing is to understand everything.
-To understand nothing is to know everything.
(also,this explains why people with savants have problems with semantic processing)
6)One cannot understand a meaning objectively,because meaning is the product of subjectivity.
7)Meaning is the product of perception.
8)Perception organizes(defines) physiological sensation.
9)We have 6 senses: vision,hearing,smelling,tasting,kinesthetic, and perception. Perception is the sixth vital sense,because without it would not perceive the others. Perception is our mind's ability to form schemas, connect ideas to each other,and form concepts.. to LEARN and to understand,because we all must learn to understand.
10)The purpose of life,since life without doing it would not be known,is to give life meaning.
11)Objective truth cannot be learned, only known,and it was known to all at birth universally as it is unconditionally true,regardless of situation,and is unaffected by perception or the passing of time.
12) Discovering truth gives us the perception a choice.
13) Every force,every action has an opposing reaction.
14) A universe,functioning under the law of opposing relative forces,must objectively be neutral.
15) Any perception of difference existing in a dimension of neutrality is an illusion.
16) If we realize something is an illusion, we have the option to give it the meaning we choose.
17) Without discovering contrasting differences by finding ways familiar looking situations aren't as similar as they may initially appear,we would not be able to discriminate because we would not have made the effort to identify which details were different when we defined a situation in the past and we would not understand the difference between the past and the present. In not seeking difference, we give up the ability to choose what we believe,and what we believe/expect becomes our reality. This reality denies the passing of time without understanding the consequences of doing so,and causes pain that would eventually lead us back to the pursuit of a deeper understanding. When we give up understanding,we give of the ability to know of choice,and we give up control we may take over our own reality: our perceptions.
18)Objective truth is not affected by perception of truth.
Combining some of the previous concepts...
The universe is not governed by the laws of its inhabitants(the laws change because of time,but the universe is constant,therefore unconditional). The universe is defined by its inhabitants(the definitions are conditional). The universe could not understand its own laws because the universe does not perceive(perception is conditional). Because the universe does not perceive(it displays true objectivity unconditionally,and its state of existence is unaffected by the flow of time and what happens in our personal lives),it permits all possible definitions to be given(the passage of time to be perceived). The laws of the universe experienced by its inhabitants reflect all possibilities of subjective truth to be given,yet none of these are objectively true. Subjective truth cannot be objective. Subjective truth is all we can personally know,but objective truth is experienced by all and is not personal. Objective truth is that perception exists and that all consequences of perception exist mutually. Objective truth is partially the idea that because of difference,no man can know everything,and all men must learn to make sense of that which isn't objectively true and automatically known. Subjective and objective truth are inversely related. The greater degree to which we discriminate,the more biased we are by perception, the less open we are to the accepting the whole of truth. If seeking truth is our meaning,however.. then you must give up meaning to find it,and sacrifice the hope of gain.
However..
The typical human mind cannot tolerate the idea of its body's senseless suffering. Afterall,without sensing,how could we perceive suffering? It is wired to react to pain because it is wired to perceive it. It is wired that way as a product of evolution. Evolution exists because we exist in a dimension of perceived change.. it's the product of energy reacting to energy to preserve neutrality.
Objects don't MAKE sense;our perception makes sense of our body's sensing of objects.
Stimuli don't MAKE sense;our perception makes sense of our body's sensing of stimuli(sensation).
Stimuli are sensed,then defined.
So,we may come to the conclusion that:
We have to feel to make sense of feeling, and we have to have felt to make sense of what we feel.
We have to feel(sense) to make sense(determine meaning) of a feeling(sense),
and we have to have felt(sensed) to make sense(determine meaning) of what we feel(sense).
We have to have felt(sensed) to know(determine meaning) of feeling(sensing).
We have to have experienced sensation before to define,or determine the meaning of, what experiencing sensation means.
The mind cannot define what it has never known to be experience.
But if we define(discriminate from novelty) that we have defined the meaning of sensation before(that the past is different because this time the meaning had already been defined), we discover we have the choice to redefine the situation(discriminate,determine new meaning),or reinforce the same meaning we had already discovered before.
Time could not exist without perception,and perception(difference) could not perceive existence without the perception of time and the perception of rate of change.
Distance(perception of) by(multiplied by) Rate(perception of) is(equals) Time(the perception of)
Distance= D, Rate= R, Time=T,Perception= p,by= multiplication,of= multiplied by,and equals= "="
Dp=Rp x Tp
Rp= Dp / Tp
Tp= Dp / Rp
Also,distance per(/) time=speed (ex: miles per hour),so rate=speed.
As opposed to 3 conditions(degrees) of reality, there are actually 4 conditions(degrees). The fourth dimension(4D) is perception. Lacking any of these variables,none of them would be known to exist.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Taking Hollistic Studies just a step further.. THEN THERE WAS PSYCHOPHYSICS AND ANTIREDUCTIONISM! BAM!(just like Emeril Laggase)
Jacqueline Guerrero http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antireductionism
Irony. Cite it here. Btw,this is such anti-mainstream cutting edge scientific theory,it's not even taught in class yet. And it's only now being discovered and applied by a select few. Oh yeah,I also discovered the theory through my own means of logic without ever having heard of it,and I discovered it on google by knowing the definition before I knew the term. Harharhar...
Heck yeah,look who's sticking it to the bell-curve >:D
Not to mention,all my theorizing has been based on this sense I was like..4... So,um,I think I have a slight advantage to modern day theorists,because I uh..you know..never had to learn how to think differently and saw everything through this perspective anyway? The only difficultly is the process of objective description through a consistent type of explanation that couldn't be misconstrued and justified by ambiguous form. I was thinking math would be a good path,so I've been teaching myself calculus by thoroughly studying the syntax of the English language since.. well,since at very least last year....
I see everything like calculus because I understand how every variable of life/perception is connected. I see how everything,all perceived difference,is illusion and truth simulataneously,and how the collective output of the system of reality.. is neutral. We exist in change in neutrality. Also,4D is the absense of perceptual difference,and total and complete acceptance that all truth is illusion as truth= reality,reality=perception,perception=bias,and bias=focusing on particulars through discimination.
4D would be the next step:
focusing on particulars through discrimination=not seeing the whole picture.. therefore.. focusing on particulars through discrimination=not seeing the whole truth.
which means that so long as perception exists,difference is perceived(though it is an illusion as it is truth in falsely subjective understanding),and so long as difference is perceived,full objective truth cannot be known. If full objective truth ever could be known,it would be in a state devoid of meaning and focus,and nothing would.. really make "sense" then,would it? We would not be able to give value to sensation(sensory bombardment and selective focus breakdown/maybe symptems of schizophrenia),and.. we would lapse back into some form of understanding.
Doesn't it make sense? We began knowing nothing,yet we knew everything.. and the truth is objective truth is consistent,regardless of subjective conditions.. the fact that we at one point did not know *cannot* be changed,as it was once a fact.. and in ways,it will always be a fact..but in the moment,we will never full understand it because we're outside of the same moment in which it actually WAS. And if it were to return,well,we would simply not know. This is why time is not consistent,perception is not persistent,and reality is not realistic. Time is perception of space,and space is the illusion that is the product of energy reactions. The self is the energy,the reactions produce the perception we experience,and so.. the self will never fade. The self,for all,is truly the same,when seperated from actions and physical matter itself,and may be regarded as the spirit,the holy,or human,spirit.. or "god". And so we were made in his image. We were made in his image because we reflected his image back to himself so that he would learn what he was through seeing through our eyes. God's purpose is also ours: to preserve the joys of meaning and to defend the perception of choice. After all.. without that perception of difference,what would both he,you,and I really be? None of us would know.. None of us could see...
We must fight to save the essence of the holy spirit,and the key characteristic of humanity that has helped us survive,like it would any animal,but has allowed us to understand the most: the meaning that would tell a mother why killing her baby on a whim when upset by its crying is a BAD thing.. The thing people in society today are becoming increasingly less sensitive to and willing themselves to become ever more ignorant of by closing their minds and hearts.. a defense mechanism of pain we'll inevitable experience,but we typically wouldn't know better than to blame our humanity for. With nuclear devastation in our wake, we must reconnect with what has prevented our own doom,lest we will it upon ourselves through choosing not to take the initiative on individual levels.. By choosing not to experience pain,we collectively destroy our ability to experience any joy,love,passion,any ambition,and any purpose.. this is rejecting God. This is rejecting our spirit and the fact of our humanity. I don't care what God you worship,but to deny truth,love,forgiveness,all the good of humanity,is no good service to anybody,and the quicker you stop deluding yourself,claiming to advocate some perverted form of martyrdom, the sooner we can transcend the pain of delusion within illusion. Our pain is by our own hands! Wake up people! Wake up now and see your choices;all the control you were never taught you had! You hold more power than you would have ever had otherwise realized. Every consequence comes with a reflecting attribute,and by your choice,you can see the positive in all inverse relations,accept it's no more true than the negative,yet still choose to value it despite that fact because this lie is the truest truth we could ever know!
POINT OF DISTORTION BETWEEN UNDERSTANDING AND COMMUNICATION.. AS EXPLAINED THROUGH PHYSICS/PSYCHOPSYCHICS
Distance=Rate x Time
perceived amount of space= distance= rate x time
perceived amount of space=perception of space(let's just call that "perception")
Perception=rate x time
time=perception/rate
rate=time/perception
rate=perceived degree of change(relative difference)
perceived degree of relative change in difference = speed of change
rate of change= (amount of)perception of space/relative perspective
degree of change=degree of space/relative degree of difference
[degree of space= degree of change x relative degree of difference]<--must be considered in terms of perception because it is a product of perception.
so..
Dp=Rp x Tp
and without the variable of perception,the variable of *bias/discrimination*,
none of the variables would exist in a real(objective) display of logic because we wouldn't perceive them existing. Since they are founded on subjective bias(perception), these things will be perceived differently to everybody, but to relative and equivalent extents(based on a sort of ratio)applicable strictly within their own modes of logic. This is why this type of logic can be understood.. yet it cannot universally be explained to be the same thing,technically. It can't be portrayed consistently in an objective way.. Not when it is fundamentally understood and experienced through subjective means.
The commonality that vaguely lets us come to understand each other is the proportional value..
Irony. Cite it here. Btw,this is such anti-mainstream cutting edge scientific theory,it's not even taught in class yet. And it's only now being discovered and applied by a select few. Oh yeah,I also discovered the theory through my own means of logic without ever having heard of it,and I discovered it on google by knowing the definition before I knew the term. Harharhar...
Heck yeah,look who's sticking it to the bell-curve >:D
Not to mention,all my theorizing has been based on this sense I was like..4... So,um,I think I have a slight advantage to modern day theorists,because I uh..you know..never had to learn how to think differently and saw everything through this perspective anyway? The only difficultly is the process of objective description through a consistent type of explanation that couldn't be misconstrued and justified by ambiguous form. I was thinking math would be a good path,so I've been teaching myself calculus by thoroughly studying the syntax of the English language since.. well,since at very least last year....
I see everything like calculus because I understand how every variable of life/perception is connected. I see how everything,all perceived difference,is illusion and truth simulataneously,and how the collective output of the system of reality.. is neutral. We exist in change in neutrality. Also,4D is the absense of perceptual difference,and total and complete acceptance that all truth is illusion as truth= reality,reality=perception,perception=bias,and bias=focusing on particulars through discimination.
4D would be the next step:
focusing on particulars through discrimination=not seeing the whole picture.. therefore.. focusing on particulars through discrimination=not seeing the whole truth.
which means that so long as perception exists,difference is perceived(though it is an illusion as it is truth in falsely subjective understanding),and so long as difference is perceived,full objective truth cannot be known. If full objective truth ever could be known,it would be in a state devoid of meaning and focus,and nothing would.. really make "sense" then,would it? We would not be able to give value to sensation(sensory bombardment and selective focus breakdown/maybe symptems of schizophrenia),and.. we would lapse back into some form of understanding.
Doesn't it make sense? We began knowing nothing,yet we knew everything.. and the truth is objective truth is consistent,regardless of subjective conditions.. the fact that we at one point did not know *cannot* be changed,as it was once a fact.. and in ways,it will always be a fact..but in the moment,we will never full understand it because we're outside of the same moment in which it actually WAS. And if it were to return,well,we would simply not know. This is why time is not consistent,perception is not persistent,and reality is not realistic. Time is perception of space,and space is the illusion that is the product of energy reactions. The self is the energy,the reactions produce the perception we experience,and so.. the self will never fade. The self,for all,is truly the same,when seperated from actions and physical matter itself,and may be regarded as the spirit,the holy,or human,spirit.. or "god". And so we were made in his image. We were made in his image because we reflected his image back to himself so that he would learn what he was through seeing through our eyes. God's purpose is also ours: to preserve the joys of meaning and to defend the perception of choice. After all.. without that perception of difference,what would both he,you,and I really be? None of us would know.. None of us could see...
We must fight to save the essence of the holy spirit,and the key characteristic of humanity that has helped us survive,like it would any animal,but has allowed us to understand the most: the meaning that would tell a mother why killing her baby on a whim when upset by its crying is a BAD thing.. The thing people in society today are becoming increasingly less sensitive to and willing themselves to become ever more ignorant of by closing their minds and hearts.. a defense mechanism of pain we'll inevitable experience,but we typically wouldn't know better than to blame our humanity for. With nuclear devastation in our wake, we must reconnect with what has prevented our own doom,lest we will it upon ourselves through choosing not to take the initiative on individual levels.. By choosing not to experience pain,we collectively destroy our ability to experience any joy,love,passion,any ambition,and any purpose.. this is rejecting God. This is rejecting our spirit and the fact of our humanity. I don't care what God you worship,but to deny truth,love,forgiveness,all the good of humanity,is no good service to anybody,and the quicker you stop deluding yourself,claiming to advocate some perverted form of martyrdom, the sooner we can transcend the pain of delusion within illusion. Our pain is by our own hands! Wake up people! Wake up now and see your choices;all the control you were never taught you had! You hold more power than you would have ever had otherwise realized. Every consequence comes with a reflecting attribute,and by your choice,you can see the positive in all inverse relations,accept it's no more true than the negative,yet still choose to value it despite that fact because this lie is the truest truth we could ever know!
POINT OF DISTORTION BETWEEN UNDERSTANDING AND COMMUNICATION.. AS EXPLAINED THROUGH PHYSICS/PSYCHOPSYCHICS
Distance=Rate x Time
perceived amount of space= distance= rate x time
perceived amount of space=perception of space(let's just call that "perception")
Perception=rate x time
time=perception/rate
rate=time/perception
rate=perceived degree of change(relative difference)
perceived degree of relative change in difference = speed of change
rate of change= (amount of)perception of space/relative perspective
degree of change=degree of space/relative degree of difference
[degree of space= degree of change x relative degree of difference]<--must be considered in terms of perception because it is a product of perception.
so..
Dp=Rp x Tp
and without the variable of perception,the variable of *bias/discrimination*,
none of the variables would exist in a real(objective) display of logic because we wouldn't perceive them existing. Since they are founded on subjective bias(perception), these things will be perceived differently to everybody, but to relative and equivalent extents(based on a sort of ratio)applicable strictly within their own modes of logic. This is why this type of logic can be understood.. yet it cannot universally be explained to be the same thing,technically. It can't be portrayed consistently in an objective way.. Not when it is fundamentally understood and experienced through subjective means.
The commonality that vaguely lets us come to understand each other is the proportional value..
Friday, April 9, 2010
Nature Vs. Nuture
I believe these both have a significant influence on the developement of personality. Nature determines our physical make-up, while environment sets a sense of drive. If people in the surrounding environent are less motivated, then the person, unless exposed to some outside ideology, is more inclined to take on that type of attribute. People are all quite individualistic, for the most part; however, it is much easier to follow a preset way of acting and etc. as we take on a sense of security in groups. It makes many people uncomfortable to stand on the opposing side of a majority. And because of this, there is a fear of non-conformity, even because of societies stress on the importance of material values. But at the same time, we each have the ability to step up and disagree with something if we feel a strong enough dissonance in our way of living. We, as humans, generally don't like to be wrong or be disproved, so we like to assume we are wrong when contradicted by a majority. The way nature plays into this is because people discriminate or treat people differently, stereotyping based on genetic dispositions and reputations. For example, the black population may be given different expectations from the eyes of society based on racial discrimination or generalization, and after being told they are less likely to suceed, may feel less confident in their abilities and accept the stereotype instead of fighting against it. Yet other disagree so strongly with the stereotype that they do everything in their power to overcome it, and try to help others understand that it's something they shouldn't accept. I am an adopted caucasian child into a racially mixed family. Each member is of a different race. I know if I was not born white, I would be presented with a different environment and be treated differently by peers, and even fit in to a different social clique, holding true to different values and standards. But at the same time, if I wasn't a part of my family, I would also have a different group of friends, and be a completely different person. Even though I disagree with my family on many issues, it was in that environment I learned to disagree. I learned at young age that people are different, maybe because of our different biological features. I discovered that much in the way our skin was different, our minds we different as well. Even if we grew up in the same home, the way we each responded to different situations was unique. Because of what we experienced in our mind, and in our environment, we made different decisions. As long as I have been able to, I have tried to look at as many different perspectives as possible. Though some of them had similarities, there are none that are exactly the same. No two people are the same and can agree with each other on every single topic. It's just the way we are.
~~~
I felt I should interject here to mention I am not conciously thinking anymore. If I'm being repetitive or unlogical, I apologize. The point of this now is to realize where my altered state of conciousness carries me. Everything I type is more of a matter of impulse and intuition. This happens sometimes, and afterwards, I fear to read just what it is I have written as I often think my writings are profound, only to discover that they are completely nonsensical. I am in an altered state of conciousness, but I am not under the influence.
~~
Maybe our biological conditions of disorders like depression and bipolar and etc. arise from the emotional stimulus. In otherwords, maybe a low level of serotonin is not the cause of depression, but depression is the cause of low serotonin, and depression is caused by our thoughts. And our train of thoughts is in turn influenced by the initial thought and where we choose to let it lead us. So maybe all a low level or serotonin indicates is the inclination to continue following a train of thought, or shows the path of thought we have chosen. Biological insight may just show what is going on in our mind, not determine what will happen in our mental processes.. Did anyone ever look into this? So maybe when people are experiencing mania, the brain does not first show symptoms, but we first walk down the road and begin to experience the symptoms, only for the brain to then reflect what it is we are currently experiencing. We don't vomit before we start to feel ill, we feel ill then we vomit. We have a sense that we are going to experience something and then it happens. Intuition. The placebo effect. We know before it happens. The thought arises, then the symptom. Because of our beliefs, how much we expect something to occur, it either does or doesn't. Think it will happen, and it very likely will. Think it happened, and it did. Doubt it happened, then it might have. Doubt give leeway to rationality. Without assuming, we leave room for possibilities, and the chance to rule out the least rational choice. But insanity is an extreme lack of doubt. Beliefs that are so fixed that no outside force can change them. And overbundance of confidence. This is why they say the first sign of insanity is denial, but then insanity isn't really insanity. It's just a mental rigidness.. It's not the inability to see another perspective, it's the choice to believe the one they do see. If I want to believe I was god, nobody but myself can disprove this idea. They can use any logic they want to disprove me, but I don't have to listen to them or even believe logic is real. I could believe this is all a dream, and people could preach it's not a dream every day for the rest of my life and I could ignore them and die thinking it was all a dream and no one could prove me wrong until after I'm "dead".
~~~
Right now I am treading a thin line. I recognize my thoughts are not using controlled logic, and very well could be(and probably are) blasphemy. But my willingness to doubt myself as opposed to simply running with a train of ideas, accepting them all as what must be truth is wearing thin. It's hard to keep two seperate senses of concious running simultaneously without one overshadowing the other. Or without losing yourself to the prevailing sense. It's exceedingly difficult... my lack of communicating my ideas is begining to wear me down. I don't even know why it's so taxing.......
~~~
Posted by HiMyNameIsDead at 7:40 PM
I believe these both have a significant influence on the developement of personality. Nature determines our physical make-up, while environment sets a sense of drive. If people in the surrounding environent are less motivated, then the person, unless exposed to some outside ideology, is more inclined to take on that type of attribute. People are all quite individualistic, for the most part; however, it is much easier to follow a preset way of acting and etc. as we take on a sense of security in groups. It makes many people uncomfortable to stand on the opposing side of a majority. And because of this, there is a fear of non-conformity, even because of societies stress on the importance of material values. But at the same time, we each have the ability to step up and disagree with something if we feel a strong enough dissonance in our way of living. We, as humans, generally don't like to be wrong or be disproved, so we like to assume we are wrong when contradicted by a majority. The way nature plays into this is because people discriminate or treat people differently, stereotyping based on genetic dispositions and reputations. For example, the black population may be given different expectations from the eyes of society based on racial discrimination or generalization, and after being told they are less likely to suceed, may feel less confident in their abilities and accept the stereotype instead of fighting against it. Yet other disagree so strongly with the stereotype that they do everything in their power to overcome it, and try to help others understand that it's something they shouldn't accept. I am an adopted caucasian child into a racially mixed family. Each member is of a different race. I know if I was not born white, I would be presented with a different environment and be treated differently by peers, and even fit in to a different social clique, holding true to different values and standards. But at the same time, if I wasn't a part of my family, I would also have a different group of friends, and be a completely different person. Even though I disagree with my family on many issues, it was in that environment I learned to disagree. I learned at young age that people are different, maybe because of our different biological features. I discovered that much in the way our skin was different, our minds we different as well. Even if we grew up in the same home, the way we each responded to different situations was unique. Because of what we experienced in our mind, and in our environment, we made different decisions. As long as I have been able to, I have tried to look at as many different perspectives as possible. Though some of them had similarities, there are none that are exactly the same. No two people are the same and can agree with each other on every single topic. It's just the way we are.
~~~
I felt I should interject here to mention I am not conciously thinking anymore. If I'm being repetitive or unlogical, I apologize. The point of this now is to realize where my altered state of conciousness carries me. Everything I type is more of a matter of impulse and intuition. This happens sometimes, and afterwards, I fear to read just what it is I have written as I often think my writings are profound, only to discover that they are completely nonsensical. I am in an altered state of conciousness, but I am not under the influence.
~~
Maybe our biological conditions of disorders like depression and bipolar and etc. arise from the emotional stimulus. In otherwords, maybe a low level of serotonin is not the cause of depression, but depression is the cause of low serotonin, and depression is caused by our thoughts. And our train of thoughts is in turn influenced by the initial thought and where we choose to let it lead us. So maybe all a low level or serotonin indicates is the inclination to continue following a train of thought, or shows the path of thought we have chosen. Biological insight may just show what is going on in our mind, not determine what will happen in our mental processes.. Did anyone ever look into this? So maybe when people are experiencing mania, the brain does not first show symptoms, but we first walk down the road and begin to experience the symptoms, only for the brain to then reflect what it is we are currently experiencing. We don't vomit before we start to feel ill, we feel ill then we vomit. We have a sense that we are going to experience something and then it happens. Intuition. The placebo effect. We know before it happens. The thought arises, then the symptom. Because of our beliefs, how much we expect something to occur, it either does or doesn't. Think it will happen, and it very likely will. Think it happened, and it did. Doubt it happened, then it might have. Doubt give leeway to rationality. Without assuming, we leave room for possibilities, and the chance to rule out the least rational choice. But insanity is an extreme lack of doubt. Beliefs that are so fixed that no outside force can change them. And overbundance of confidence. This is why they say the first sign of insanity is denial, but then insanity isn't really insanity. It's just a mental rigidness.. It's not the inability to see another perspective, it's the choice to believe the one they do see. If I want to believe I was god, nobody but myself can disprove this idea. They can use any logic they want to disprove me, but I don't have to listen to them or even believe logic is real. I could believe this is all a dream, and people could preach it's not a dream every day for the rest of my life and I could ignore them and die thinking it was all a dream and no one could prove me wrong until after I'm "dead".
~~~
Right now I am treading a thin line. I recognize my thoughts are not using controlled logic, and very well could be(and probably are) blasphemy. But my willingness to doubt myself as opposed to simply running with a train of ideas, accepting them all as what must be truth is wearing thin. It's hard to keep two seperate senses of concious running simultaneously without one overshadowing the other. Or without losing yourself to the prevailing sense. It's exceedingly difficult... my lack of communicating my ideas is begining to wear me down. I don't even know why it's so taxing.......
~~~
Posted by HiMyNameIsDead at 7:40 PM
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Why God may need our forgiveness..
Me:I'm making it,because I have reasons to live beyond myself.
and they won't fade,like my personal..joy,feeling of being loved,optimism,whatever
in those times
I always,always have that hope to cling onto
Her:Hope is good. It's what humanity thrives off of.
Me:yeah
that's why I live to give it to others who would be like me
I truly believe
God must need MY forgiveness..
lol
Her:lol
Those Chirstians would be all over your ass right now for that statement.
Me:well.. maybe
look at jesus
he was born to suffer the whole time,too
but wouldn't he have had to forgive the father who willed him to suffer so much?
wouldn't he have to forgive the people who put him through so much?
"Forgive them father,for they know not what they do.."
Her:Hm.
I see.
Me:if I can live
through the worst depressions,the worst falls in mood,without..
feelings that a truly my own,they simply MUST be a gift from God,if not a curse.. but it depends on what you make of it
and if I don't make something good out of this,and look beyond the moment,live for other people.. I truly have nothing to live for.
that's why in my life
I can be a hero,or I can be totally worthless
if not someone who causes myself all the same pain others have caused me/I suffer through
Me:but anybody can be a hero,too
I'm not special
I'm not better
I'm not oblivious to making mistakes cause I'm human and I KNOW that
god,I'm rambling again.. I'm sorry
Her:It's quite fine with me.
I see what you say, and I agree.
Anyone can be a hero
The difference is...
While anyone can be a hero, only those who act for those truly good deeds can be heros. They actually did do something, rather than leaving themselves at just "potential," you know?
Me:yeah,but you see
it doesn't take something profound
to forgive.. it's all it takes..
to forgive others.
to forgive people for being human
because humans make mistakes,especially out of not knowing
but we can't blame them for being born one way or another
Her:Making mistakes is the only way we learn.
Me:yeah,exactly..
not only that
but people blame other people for what they know to be true
it's so illogical
people are raised a certain way,not because they chose to be,it's not like they chose to be born into their shoes,their perspective
so if people are rude,they call me crazy,or you
they were taught that by somebody who had learned it,and they learned to trust those who taught it
that's not their fault,either..
and we can't hate people for not forgiving
because they just don't know..
but if we don't forgive when we know we have the choice..
that's a sin we will upon ourselves.. we reject humanity
and even I have trouble forgiving myself.
but this is why.. we can save the world
we just have to teach people something that's already in all their holy books
the action of love. forgiveness
open their eyes to what it really is~!
My friend,did you know anger is a choice?
Her:....I never thought of it that way.
9:12pmJacqueline
pain creates anger naturally
when we don't realize what it is
a defense mechanism against hurt
same with apathy
Her:Hm.
Never thought of it that way, either.
Me:but if we realize it,when we start feeling those things,we can take a step back
we can make the choice,because we realize we have the power :D
and that's why there's hope for people
it's true that
eventually our species may go extinct
perhaps by our own hands,perhaps from some mistake,perhaps not
but the longer we prolong our existence
the longer we promote love,forgiveness,the less we will have to suffer when eventually we do go extinct,because you know how I said we are all energy?
Her:yUP.
o.o
Me:well,eventually the energy will go back into the universe and circulate through reactions until it manifests into a state of consciouness
Her:Caps lock was on.
Me:it's okay,I figured xD
*consciousness
and once it does..
we'll exist in a state of knowing unique to that type of.. being
if we were a tree,we'd have the awareness of a tree
if we were an animal,we'd have the awareness of an animal
human,the same,we'd exist in the body of that human.. live life,experience emotions because of others
the more love we're shown,the happier life we'll lead. if humans all died,we'd have to painstakingly tredge through the whole evolutionary process again just to reach an equivalent point
*trudge
because energy always exists.
law of conservation,of our universe,of the state of perception we exist in
Her:@.@
I'm not so good at the whole "theory of life" thing. I'm lucky it's not that hard in bio righ tnow.
Me:roflmao
Her:lol
Well, I gtg
Me:well,this whole revelation came with the drawing of the mandala
Her:Finishing HW.
Later.
Me:oh,kk
thanks
and they won't fade,like my personal..joy,feeling of being loved,optimism,whatever
in those times
I always,always have that hope to cling onto
Her:Hope is good. It's what humanity thrives off of.
Me:yeah
that's why I live to give it to others who would be like me
I truly believe
God must need MY forgiveness..
lol
Her:lol
Those Chirstians would be all over your ass right now for that statement.
Me:well.. maybe
look at jesus
he was born to suffer the whole time,too
but wouldn't he have had to forgive the father who willed him to suffer so much?
wouldn't he have to forgive the people who put him through so much?
"Forgive them father,for they know not what they do.."
Her:Hm.
I see.
Me:if I can live
through the worst depressions,the worst falls in mood,without..
feelings that a truly my own,they simply MUST be a gift from God,if not a curse.. but it depends on what you make of it
and if I don't make something good out of this,and look beyond the moment,live for other people.. I truly have nothing to live for.
that's why in my life
I can be a hero,or I can be totally worthless
if not someone who causes myself all the same pain others have caused me/I suffer through
Me:but anybody can be a hero,too
I'm not special
I'm not better
I'm not oblivious to making mistakes cause I'm human and I KNOW that
god,I'm rambling again.. I'm sorry
Her:It's quite fine with me.
I see what you say, and I agree.
Anyone can be a hero
The difference is...
While anyone can be a hero, only those who act for those truly good deeds can be heros. They actually did do something, rather than leaving themselves at just "potential," you know?
Me:yeah,but you see
it doesn't take something profound
to forgive.. it's all it takes..
to forgive others.
to forgive people for being human
because humans make mistakes,especially out of not knowing
but we can't blame them for being born one way or another
Her:Making mistakes is the only way we learn.
Me:yeah,exactly..
not only that
but people blame other people for what they know to be true
it's so illogical
people are raised a certain way,not because they chose to be,it's not like they chose to be born into their shoes,their perspective
so if people are rude,they call me crazy,or you
they were taught that by somebody who had learned it,and they learned to trust those who taught it
that's not their fault,either..
and we can't hate people for not forgiving
because they just don't know..
but if we don't forgive when we know we have the choice..
that's a sin we will upon ourselves.. we reject humanity
and even I have trouble forgiving myself.
but this is why.. we can save the world
we just have to teach people something that's already in all their holy books
the action of love. forgiveness
open their eyes to what it really is~!
My friend,did you know anger is a choice?
Her:....I never thought of it that way.
9:12pmJacqueline
pain creates anger naturally
when we don't realize what it is
a defense mechanism against hurt
same with apathy
Her:Hm.
Never thought of it that way, either.
Me:but if we realize it,when we start feeling those things,we can take a step back
we can make the choice,because we realize we have the power :D
and that's why there's hope for people
it's true that
eventually our species may go extinct
perhaps by our own hands,perhaps from some mistake,perhaps not
but the longer we prolong our existence
the longer we promote love,forgiveness,the less we will have to suffer when eventually we do go extinct,because you know how I said we are all energy?
Her:yUP.
o.o
Me:well,eventually the energy will go back into the universe and circulate through reactions until it manifests into a state of consciouness
Her:Caps lock was on.
Me:it's okay,I figured xD
*consciousness
and once it does..
we'll exist in a state of knowing unique to that type of.. being
if we were a tree,we'd have the awareness of a tree
if we were an animal,we'd have the awareness of an animal
human,the same,we'd exist in the body of that human.. live life,experience emotions because of others
the more love we're shown,the happier life we'll lead. if humans all died,we'd have to painstakingly tredge through the whole evolutionary process again just to reach an equivalent point
*trudge
because energy always exists.
law of conservation,of our universe,of the state of perception we exist in
Her:@.@
I'm not so good at the whole "theory of life" thing. I'm lucky it's not that hard in bio righ tnow.
Me:roflmao
Her:lol
Well, I gtg
Me:well,this whole revelation came with the drawing of the mandala
Her:Finishing HW.
Later.
Me:oh,kk
thanks
The Dream
Friend #2:hey
:D
thanks for taking part in the birthday surprise thingy
Me:hi,well
I don't feel I should be thanked
it was mainly Andrew
Friend#2:im thanking everyone
but im going thank him a bunchhh
lolol
Me:well,no problem,then
Friend #2: what's up?
Me:um
trying to interpret this bizarre dream I had last night
Friend #2:aw
I see
Me:it was.. interesting
it involved prom,too
Friend #2:woah
lol
I decided to go
ew school organiziation
loljk
Me:lol
srsly
well,good for you :)
Friend #2:are you going?
you should
anyways
what was your dream about?
unless it's personal
Me:well..
it started out with searching for a dress
I was not a happy person
I hate shopping for clothes
I eventually get a black one,that I hate
Friend #2:aw
Me:I go to the dance,and nobody is even dancing
for some reason
people from band,like Jordan,are playing jazz
just improvising in the middle of the dance floor.
Friend #2:lollll
Me:it made no sense.. they weren't in jazz band,and everybody was
happy,but I wasn't
there was somebody I was supposed to be there with I think,but
I didn't want to be there at all. I just.. left,after staring out the
window up into the sky
I changed out of my dress and went outside,and my dad was
supposed to pic me up at 2am in the morning
Friend #2: :(
Me:I decided to go to the store,because I had some money,but I didn't want anything.. I think I stole some flower seeds
randomly o.o
Friend #2:O_o
Me:(I don't steal in rl,it was weird)
Friend #2:what are flower seeds
Me:just flower seeds.. seeds for flowers in those little packets..
lol
Friend #2:lolol
so random
Me:yeah.. but then I go outside,back to the school and
I'm about to drive off in my dad's car,and they're doing
searches of peoples' vehicles
for drugs,and checking drivers for intoxication
I open up the truck to place my dress in their,and I see beer
>_> from my dad
and I was like "f***", so I decided to just pretend it wasn't there
and close the truck,and I figured since I wasn't intoxicated I
could play it off
and then right as I was about to close the truck,a police officer
said "what's in that can,ma'am?"
I tried to say it was a soda,before they got close enough to
see,but then they asked to see it and I was like fml..
so I go arrested,though as I was being handcuffed,I tried to
explain it was my father's,and that they could test my breath
for alcohol,and I could prove I wasn't drunk
and they tested my breath,and I was like .000587%,and they
believed me,however,I still got arrested
and the guy,he apologized,saying it's standard procedure,and
I said.. "it's okay.. I know." and I forgave him for it
but then.. my dad came,and he was pissed off because this was
happening to me,and it happened while I had his car
and he started yelling at the police officer with my
mom,swearing,generally hating,because they thought it was
so stupid that I was being arrested.. and I wanted to cry,I kept
telling them to stop yelling at the police officer.. it wasn't his
fault,he was just doing his job.. he had to do it for his
family,to bring home a paycheck.. and the officer
Friend #2:omh
o_O
Me:he was actually just a really nice guy
Friend #2:such a detailed dream
I NEVER remember my dreams so preciseley
Me:really?
Friend #2:yeah
I gotta go
I'll bbl
Me:oh,alright
Friend #2:dinner
if ittinues
you can keep writing your dream
continues*
Me:well..okay
I just don't want to be annoying with it
Friend #2:you don't have to
lol
it's interesting
Me:otays,then
I won't worry as much ;3
Me:well.. so then it continues,and my parents continue yelling at him,and at this point I felt like I was personally being attack as the police officer was,because he was just another kind hearted human who was simply trying to get by.. I knew. I
knew they shouldn't blame him.. eventually,their arguing does
no good,and I am sent to jail and put in a cell..(oh yeah,this
whole time,it was raining,in the middle of the night,and dark
clouds hung above us)
Me:I was alone in the cell,left to think about what had happened..
left to wonder about the true implications and symbolism of
what they had done. I recognized that I identified with the
officer because I had been in his position,and that people like
my parents around the world,the people who wouldn't listen
and couldn't understand, caused the people like me so much
pain
Me:it made me sad,but it reminded me what I had to do in my
life. the same thing I know I have to do in my waking life.. I
just kept thinking about God,and was in a consistent state of
spiritual contemplation.. "What to do? What can I do to make
a difference? How can I help the way people are destroying
each other without even realizing what they're doing? How
can I connect with others on a personal level to make them feel
like this is something that pertains to them,even if they don't
realize how much it truly does?"
Me:eventually I was released from solitary confinement,and I
realized how people like me had been locked up for the same
good intentions and mistakes.. so I went with my grandma to
the store as she and my mom continued to talk about how
ashamed they were of me.. how this was my fault,that I was
likely lying,just like all the police officers had thought besides
the kind one..
how I was just another teenager,and I wandered alone
through a shop in some foreign mall filled with clothes.. there
were few customers..
Me:I went with my mother to this shop where they burned incense
as a method of healing.. and I chose the essence of divinity..
something that was supposed to help me reacher a higher
state of understanding,consciousness,and objective awareness
of the connectivity we all share.. my mom didn't understand
why I didn't pick one of the more pleasantly smelling
candles/incenses to burn
for some reason,the shop owner was my English teacher,and
she suggested I pick scent of hibiscus o.o
I declined, and also drank this weird smoothie made of grass
and herbs,that were supposed to promote health and
intelligence,though it did taste bad
I leave the mall,growing tired by my grandmother and mom
complaining (it's nightfall once again) and I notice a prison..
many strangers are gathered around gossiping.. about the
girl trapped inside on a high level in solitary confinement
herself.. I looked at her and I knew who she was
she was the same as me,except she was shrouded in darkness..
she had this sardonic smile,and he hair covered her face..
the strangers said she commited unspeakable crimes,that she
was the worst.. horrible human,disgusting
they all ridiculed her,said how she deserved to be locked up
forever,so I wondered what the crime was.. though..
I had this feeling she didn't really do anything bad. I could
feel it like she and I shared this emotional bond.. that we were
the same
they said she tried to pretend she was jesus.. and that she had
commited the crime of crucifying herself
Friend #2:omg
that's most intense dream
I've ever been told
O_o
Me:it's not over..lol
they hated her,seriously,every single person in that crowd
hated her with this intensity.. I was despairing over it,for I felt
waves of it,too
and the girl
I saw her hands.. she was bleeding to death
she really was crucified.. and I was thinking.. I thought..
"How could somebody possibly crucify themself?!"
I knew.. I knew they were wrong,then... just like they were
wrong about me,and the officer,and that the whole world was
against me
and the prison.. it caught on fire
and they..
let it burn..
they let her burn
and they said "good riddance! the whore deserves to go to
hell,and burn there after she is done burning here!"
I knew I'd be that girl one day
Friend #2:O___O
Me:but I still.. forgave them
and that was the purpose I knew I had
see,by forgiving them.. I'm taking that hatred.. so it's not
theres..
I'm showing the action of love,even if they couldn't appreciate
it
*theirs
and I know.. that type of thing is the only thing that can break
the cycle of hatred..
Friend #2: :/
Me:but it's necessary.. because..
we're all the same in spirit
some of that energy might end up in one body and some in the
other,but truly,we're all the same..
we do the best we know
Me:and that's why.. I know I have to make a difference.. i have to
find a way to help people see what their mindless actions can
do when they don't take the time to forgive
Me:do you see how I see it will just continue? do you see the
purpose others would condemn me for here? I didn't know the
dream would speak in a way others would understand
necessarily,but..
does it make sense?
every single thing I said here was exactly as it happened in my
dream. I didn't add anything
Me:lol,I hadn't even planned on actually asking if it made sense
of anything.. or tying it in to real life,but that was how it..
seems to relate now,when I think about the whole of it. I
didn't even think it would come out so fluidly
Friend #2: lolol
yeah it makes sense
Me: actually,this kind of thing is what I keep in my journals,too
I write about dreams,and my perception of things like this
that happen irl
among other things.. ways I may be able to make a
difference,improve myself,teach things indirectly,protray a
message beautifully,and use tools like poetry or simplicity.. so
people can understand me,and I can better understand them
Me:*portray
I just don't.. show that side of me much through my actual
spoken words
people don't have the patience or the respect when I'm left st-
st-stuttering.. y'know?
:D
thanks for taking part in the birthday surprise thingy
Me:hi,well
I don't feel I should be thanked
it was mainly Andrew
Friend#2:im thanking everyone
but im going thank him a bunchhh
lolol
Me:well,no problem,then
Friend #2: what's up?
Me:um
trying to interpret this bizarre dream I had last night
Friend #2:aw
I see
Me:it was.. interesting
it involved prom,too
Friend #2:woah
lol
I decided to go
ew school organiziation
loljk
Me:lol
srsly
well,good for you :)
Friend #2:are you going?
you should
anyways
what was your dream about?
unless it's personal
Me:well..
it started out with searching for a dress
I was not a happy person
I hate shopping for clothes
I eventually get a black one,that I hate
Friend #2:aw
Me:I go to the dance,and nobody is even dancing
for some reason
people from band,like Jordan,are playing jazz
just improvising in the middle of the dance floor.
Friend #2:lollll
Me:it made no sense.. they weren't in jazz band,and everybody was
happy,but I wasn't
there was somebody I was supposed to be there with I think,but
I didn't want to be there at all. I just.. left,after staring out the
window up into the sky
I changed out of my dress and went outside,and my dad was
supposed to pic me up at 2am in the morning
Friend #2: :(
Me:I decided to go to the store,because I had some money,but I didn't want anything.. I think I stole some flower seeds
randomly o.o
Friend #2:O_o
Me:(I don't steal in rl,it was weird)
Friend #2:what are flower seeds
Me:just flower seeds.. seeds for flowers in those little packets..
lol
Friend #2:lolol
so random
Me:yeah.. but then I go outside,back to the school and
I'm about to drive off in my dad's car,and they're doing
searches of peoples' vehicles
for drugs,and checking drivers for intoxication
I open up the truck to place my dress in their,and I see beer
>_> from my dad
and I was like "f***", so I decided to just pretend it wasn't there
and close the truck,and I figured since I wasn't intoxicated I
could play it off
and then right as I was about to close the truck,a police officer
said "what's in that can,ma'am?"
I tried to say it was a soda,before they got close enough to
see,but then they asked to see it and I was like fml..
so I go arrested,though as I was being handcuffed,I tried to
explain it was my father's,and that they could test my breath
for alcohol,and I could prove I wasn't drunk
and they tested my breath,and I was like .000587%,and they
believed me,however,I still got arrested
and the guy,he apologized,saying it's standard procedure,and
I said.. "it's okay.. I know." and I forgave him for it
but then.. my dad came,and he was pissed off because this was
happening to me,and it happened while I had his car
and he started yelling at the police officer with my
mom,swearing,generally hating,because they thought it was
so stupid that I was being arrested.. and I wanted to cry,I kept
telling them to stop yelling at the police officer.. it wasn't his
fault,he was just doing his job.. he had to do it for his
family,to bring home a paycheck.. and the officer
Friend #2:omh
o_O
Me:he was actually just a really nice guy
Friend #2:such a detailed dream
I NEVER remember my dreams so preciseley
Me:really?
Friend #2:yeah
I gotta go
I'll bbl
Me:oh,alright
Friend #2:dinner
if ittinues
you can keep writing your dream
continues*
Me:well..okay
I just don't want to be annoying with it
Friend #2:you don't have to
lol
it's interesting
Me:otays,then
I won't worry as much ;3
Me:well.. so then it continues,and my parents continue yelling at him,and at this point I felt like I was personally being attack as the police officer was,because he was just another kind hearted human who was simply trying to get by.. I knew. I
knew they shouldn't blame him.. eventually,their arguing does
no good,and I am sent to jail and put in a cell..(oh yeah,this
whole time,it was raining,in the middle of the night,and dark
clouds hung above us)
Me:I was alone in the cell,left to think about what had happened..
left to wonder about the true implications and symbolism of
what they had done. I recognized that I identified with the
officer because I had been in his position,and that people like
my parents around the world,the people who wouldn't listen
and couldn't understand, caused the people like me so much
pain
Me:it made me sad,but it reminded me what I had to do in my
life. the same thing I know I have to do in my waking life.. I
just kept thinking about God,and was in a consistent state of
spiritual contemplation.. "What to do? What can I do to make
a difference? How can I help the way people are destroying
each other without even realizing what they're doing? How
can I connect with others on a personal level to make them feel
like this is something that pertains to them,even if they don't
realize how much it truly does?"
Me:eventually I was released from solitary confinement,and I
realized how people like me had been locked up for the same
good intentions and mistakes.. so I went with my grandma to
the store as she and my mom continued to talk about how
ashamed they were of me.. how this was my fault,that I was
likely lying,just like all the police officers had thought besides
the kind one..
how I was just another teenager,and I wandered alone
through a shop in some foreign mall filled with clothes.. there
were few customers..
Me:I went with my mother to this shop where they burned incense
as a method of healing.. and I chose the essence of divinity..
something that was supposed to help me reacher a higher
state of understanding,consciousness,and objective awareness
of the connectivity we all share.. my mom didn't understand
why I didn't pick one of the more pleasantly smelling
candles/incenses to burn
for some reason,the shop owner was my English teacher,and
she suggested I pick scent of hibiscus o.o
I declined, and also drank this weird smoothie made of grass
and herbs,that were supposed to promote health and
intelligence,though it did taste bad
I leave the mall,growing tired by my grandmother and mom
complaining (it's nightfall once again) and I notice a prison..
many strangers are gathered around gossiping.. about the
girl trapped inside on a high level in solitary confinement
herself.. I looked at her and I knew who she was
she was the same as me,except she was shrouded in darkness..
she had this sardonic smile,and he hair covered her face..
the strangers said she commited unspeakable crimes,that she
was the worst.. horrible human,disgusting
they all ridiculed her,said how she deserved to be locked up
forever,so I wondered what the crime was.. though..
I had this feeling she didn't really do anything bad. I could
feel it like she and I shared this emotional bond.. that we were
the same
they said she tried to pretend she was jesus.. and that she had
commited the crime of crucifying herself
Friend #2:omg
that's most intense dream
I've ever been told
O_o
Me:it's not over..lol
they hated her,seriously,every single person in that crowd
hated her with this intensity.. I was despairing over it,for I felt
waves of it,too
and the girl
I saw her hands.. she was bleeding to death
she really was crucified.. and I was thinking.. I thought..
"How could somebody possibly crucify themself?!"
I knew.. I knew they were wrong,then... just like they were
wrong about me,and the officer,and that the whole world was
against me
and the prison.. it caught on fire
and they..
let it burn..
they let her burn
and they said "good riddance! the whore deserves to go to
hell,and burn there after she is done burning here!"
I knew I'd be that girl one day
Friend #2:O___O
Me:but I still.. forgave them
and that was the purpose I knew I had
see,by forgiving them.. I'm taking that hatred.. so it's not
theres..
I'm showing the action of love,even if they couldn't appreciate
it
*theirs
and I know.. that type of thing is the only thing that can break
the cycle of hatred..
Friend #2: :/
Me:but it's necessary.. because..
we're all the same in spirit
some of that energy might end up in one body and some in the
other,but truly,we're all the same..
we do the best we know
Me:and that's why.. I know I have to make a difference.. i have to
find a way to help people see what their mindless actions can
do when they don't take the time to forgive
Me:do you see how I see it will just continue? do you see the
purpose others would condemn me for here? I didn't know the
dream would speak in a way others would understand
necessarily,but..
does it make sense?
every single thing I said here was exactly as it happened in my
dream. I didn't add anything
Me:lol,I hadn't even planned on actually asking if it made sense
of anything.. or tying it in to real life,but that was how it..
seems to relate now,when I think about the whole of it. I
didn't even think it would come out so fluidly
Friend #2: lolol
yeah it makes sense
Me: actually,this kind of thing is what I keep in my journals,too
I write about dreams,and my perception of things like this
that happen irl
among other things.. ways I may be able to make a
difference,improve myself,teach things indirectly,protray a
message beautifully,and use tools like poetry or simplicity.. so
people can understand me,and I can better understand them
Me:*portray
I just don't.. show that side of me much through my actual
spoken words
people don't have the patience or the respect when I'm left st-
st-stuttering.. y'know?
Metaphysical Theory
Me:Would you rather live with the pain of losing the person who means the most to you,or give your life,leaving them with the pain that you would have felt same?
Him:that's a difficult decision
Me:that is a hard decision.. I agree
I was thinking about that and other things
but
don't you think God is the one who needs our forgiveness,and needs us to accept him?
cause I mean.. otherwise,wouldn't he not exist?
Him:hmmm....guess he wouldn;t and without him, we wouln't necessarily understood the basics of morality, do we?
Me:well,idk,would we?
it seems the bible has helped us understand that
and so has living
Him:hrmmm, in a way, yes
Me:God isn't physically here
as in like
the specific entity of God,if we consider him as one concept
Him:ahhh
Me:all the pain and suffering we go through,we suffer through it because he created us
if you want to think of him as the divine creator
but it's necessary,because every emotion is based on relative shift in mood
otherwise we wouldn't feel
just like the perception of time is based on relative difference
the perception of difference is based on relative degree of space
and god would be what allowed difference through change
Me:but God,himself,could not exist within the same realm of time and difference,otherwise he wouldn't have truly been the creator,would he?
Me:but God,himself,could not exist within the same realm of time and difference,otherwise he wouldn't have truly been the creator,would he?
Him:huh...
Me:unless it was something trippy like star ocean,and we're all characters in a video game or movie or some shit like that
Him:lol
Me:and there are other dimensions
and the beings can come and go as they please
and even then,they still aren't really Gods,are they?
Him:no, not necessarily
Me:even if they created this world
and this was the video game,the creation
they would not truly be gods
because to exist,something must have created them,if they exist within a construct of difference
this is like super-metaphysical theory right here :3
Him:lmao
Me:what truly doesn't make sense to me
is how have the majority of the people in the world not thought about things this deeply?
how come you don't hear about this type of theory? how come it isn't mainstream when it's pure logic?
I think I know what God is
Him:what?
Me:okay,well.. imagine you died
and you lived in a state of bliss
where things were happy and they stayed that way
heaven
but nothing bad happened
ever
first of all,wouldn't that be a completely phony state of existence?
and secondly,if nothing bad happened,and no pain was felt,we,as humans,would grow accustomed to the "happiness" and it would lose the value it had because it would become normal.. am I right?
Him:yea, that's right
Me:okay,soo....
if it became neutral,and we couldn't feel difference,wouldn't that get..boring?
if it was like the matrix,would you take the red pill?
lol
Him:in plain honesty, it would get boring
hence force, a utopia can easily also be a dystopia at the same time
Me:yes
disorder
even if people had been so horribly hurt in their lifetime
that
they were scarred and scared
without difference,they would ultimately.. forget what difference was,and be driven back to it out of curiousity and desire for change
for an adventure..
even if God created his creation,and the concept of free will
if he could control everything about his reality,and he had a perception in order to have a will,wouldn't he get bored,too?
Me:if he created a world,created a difference,wouldn't he also want to experience that same change himself because he wouldn't have created it without a motivation because otherwise,he wouldn't have conscious will?
Him:umm, yea, I would think, if it was seen to show fit
Me:otherwise,it would imply he doesn't know everything
lol
why would we make a simulation of reality when we know exactly what is going to happen?
there really wouldn't be any surprises,would there?
Him:not so much, yea
Me:it's like a video game
or maple story
you get lvl 200,max mesos,all the rare items,all the fame,everything
then what?
don't you.. start over eventually,if you're going to keep playing the game?
Me:do you see where I'm going with this?
Me:plus,under the laws of the universe,energy must originate from energy
Him:hmm
yea, i see where you were going
Me:God has to be energy
the same energy that our spirit is
the same energy any energy is
and that must be what the self truly is
a product of energy plus our body structure
which makes sense because the cerebral cortex,something
more thoroughly developed in humans compared to most(if
not all) other animals,is what is known to affect states of
consciousness and perception especially
I mean,that's why we'll always exist
just not in the same state of consciousness
and our state of consciousness is constantly changing based
upon neurochemical reactions triggered by changes in our
surrounding our our body's chemistry
or even by self-analysis
*or our
it explains why God wouldn't want us to destroy the meaning
we experience
because it would utterly lead to the destruction of the human
species,destruction of the state of knowing that "created
us",destruction of the ability to appreciate life until it is
rebuilt
which would take alot more senseless suffering
as.. our species would basically go extinct because of our own
failures
and the energy would have to go through the process of
reconstruction.. evolution would just start all over again
Him:that would be one big cycle
Me:which,when we look to the past,isn't that exactly what it has
been?
isn't that what almost everything is?
isn't that what scientists theorize the universe is undergoing?
you do realize
if we are all energy,the self is energy
that time is truly an illusion just as difference is,when you
consider it in that context?
Him:yea, when put in something like that
Me:so then,do you see why the Bible is a very good thing?
why morality is a good thing? o.o
Him:Oo
Me:is that a yeah or a no? lol
Him:yea, I see it
Me:religion
teaches spirituality
reverence for the human spirit,the essence of our existence,God
so we don't have to suffer
but to not suffer perpetually
we have to suffer in the present
that's where karma,reincarnation,the concept of
sin,hell,heaven,nirvana,that's where all of this ties in
that's how
buddhism,paganism,christianity,catholicism,judaism,wiccan
beliefs,all these religions
they're exactly the same.. if they serve the purpose of teaching
morality,they're exactly the same thing..
do you see it?
Him:yea,
I'm definitely seeing it
Me:the problem is
there are mistranslations,misinterpretations
the source of misunderstanding is our different perceptions
but jesus..
we have to accept our humanity and other peoples'
humanity,because we're all the same.. we're the same
energy,we're the same.. we'll all occupy each others' shoes
literally
Me:if we keep destroying humanity,our ability and reason to give
meaning to things,all good will utterly be pointless
and we have to forgive
because anything else is taking positive energy from the whole
process
Me:forgiving allows us to feel love.. positive,motivation for positive
change
it's the action that creates love
and we have to realize that people make mistakes,and that
anger can be a choice,or otherwise it is a product of
misunderstanding
we have to wake up. we need a spiritual awakening,to wake
people up to the idea of having a choice.. that they truly can
live
that they really can control their destiny
Me:because of the misinterpretations of religion and the pain
those misunderstandings cause,people are losing faith,people
are losing the will to forgive or the knowledge of the ability..
they're losing and destroying human will without even
realizing it
now I frankly don't know how
Me:I'm able to see this,but I dedicated my life to living for god at
a young age. I sold my soul for that cause,because I
experienced such devestation,I had nothing but faith,and
since I couldn't create it because I did not know then why I
should have it,I had to borrow it from God
by giving my life,dedicating my life to God and truth,to be
true to myself
I
have been lead to these understandings.. I guess I'm
something of a channel... o.o
Him:o.o
Me:I was born into my life,with my genes
and bipolar disorder was not my choice,nor was the
depression
I suffer beyond what I cause,but I choose to
but because I still have always strived to remain as true to
myself as I possibly could,and I never betrayed myself or my
method of learning
that's why I'm different.. that's why
I didn't have to read these truths to come to understand
them,how to describe them
these aren't just things I've read somewhere
this is a product of my own mind,my logic
I think that it means I'm purely a source of positive energy..
o.o;
because it's easier to die for me,you know
my genes say I should
statistics say I should
I probably should have died over the course of the various
times I tried to
but I didn't,and I learned even more from living
..What do you think this means?
Him:what it means,
Me:?
Him:it's hard to put into words, but kinda like a an intentional miracle, or more like
Me:...now I have to tell you the weirdest parts
when I was in 8th grade,I drew a picture,started to write a story about a fallen angel
who suffered through bipolar disorder,though I didn't know what bipolar disorder really was then,or that I was bipolar
and I wrote an epitath that I can't remember
I don't really remember the story,just that it existed,and that it scared my parents so they took it away
and so then you know how I drew that mandala without knowing what it was,right?
Him:yea?
i remember that
Me:well
I had this feeling
about it
so I went to 4chan.org with it
that's how I found out what it meant
they told me what it was
so I looked it up,and they recommended I look into certain things
I followed that through google,or the link,or w/e
and it lead me to pistis sophia
because apparently
my mandala has the same symbology as the philosopher's stone
and sophia was the creator of it
did I tell you anything about her?
what I read?
Him:not much bout it was said
Me:well.....
A special and richly coloured development is given to the mythical form of the Sophia of the Gnostic Book Pistis Sophia.[67] The two first books of this writing to which the name Pistis Sophia properly belongs, treat for the greater part[68] of the fall, the Repentance, and the Redemption of the Sophia. She has by the ordinance of higher powers obtained an insight into the dwelling-place appropriated to her in the spiritual world, namely, the thesauros lucis which lies beyond the XIIIth Aeon. By her endeavours to direct thither her upward flight, she draws upon herself the enmity of the Authades, Archon of the XIIIth Aeon, and of the Archons of the XII. Aeons under him; by these she is enticed down into the depths of chaos, and is there tormented in the greatest possible variety of ways, in order that so she may incur the loss of her light-nature.
In her utmost need she addresses thirteen penitent prayers (metanoiai) to the Upper Light. Step by step she is led upwards by Christus into the higher regions, though she still remains obnoxious to the assaults of the Archons, and is, after offering her XIIIth Metanoia, more vehemently attacked than ever, till at length Christus leads her down into an intermediate place below the XIIIth Aeon, where she remains till the consummation of the world, and sends up grateful hymns of praise and thanksgiving. The earthly work of redemption having been at length accomplished, the Sophia returns to her original celestial home.
Me: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sophia_(wisdom)
Him:hmm,
Me:the weirder thing is
somebody told me to look at this particular article by Jung
the famous neo-freudian psychologist
Me: http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.cabiz.net/heartlink/philosopherstone.gif&imgrefurl=http://www.cabiz.net/heartlink/jacob_pillar_dna.htm&usg=__2CdTBAzDiISdb5ljGBybWbmftb4=&h=516&w=571&sz=27&hl=en&start=4&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=uy-r97aWo80EgM:&tbnh=121&tbnw=134&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dphilosopher%2527s%2Bstone%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26tbs%3Disch:1
notice how that picture..
scroll down
to where the picture is actually located in the context.
the bit about the jacob's ladder
and the holy grail
and alchemy
Him:mmk
Him:Oo
Me:also
last year
i did kundalini meditation
had a kundalini awakening o.o
Him:oo
Me:there's more
lol
Him:lol
Me: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mandala
Me:jung
is the one
who said that mandala's symbolis
*symbolize
the unconscious,our true state of existence
that they can be used to understand the self,the collective unconscious,as they are universally occuring across many cultures and universally hold symbolic meaning
he
http://www.cgjungpage.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=810&Itemid=40
Me:Buddhism, Christianity, Islam: (530 B.C to 0 – 600 A.D) all make mention of Sophia, yet each tradition adapts her to their own cosmology; and all increasingly become critical of nature. The goal of all these spiritual traditions is to rise above the earth and achieve Nirvana. Heaven, or Paradise.
dude,wtf
Him:Oo
Me:shi
). Mary Magdalene is described here as an intimate of Christ, mentored by Him and recognized as one who supported and taught the apostles. Early tapestries illustrate this prominence and relationship. This gospel records further teachings of Christ, such as:
“All that is born, all that is created and all the elements of nature are interwoven and united with each other.” And then Christ goes on to say: “all that is composed will be decomposed.” This is the fundamental Sophianic challenge: to view ourselves as a process unfolding within nature. Such a view places us beyond religious dogma, and opens us to on-going Creation.
Me:What wisdom awaits us here? Man’s deep fear of illness and death informs his pervasive need to control nature. Certainly, man’s innate intelligence is here to cure illness and provide palliative care for the dying. What we have not done is penetrate further into how fundamentally we are interwoven and united with nature, and how she provides the cog-wheel of our evolution.
Me:Henri Corbin has written: “It is not the incarnate Sophia’s role to bind or connect us to the earth, but to help us recognize that our understanding of ourselves as separate from the earth is a delusion.”
I hadn't been
at this page
before
omfg
the..irony...omg
Him:O.o
Me:what makes it
weird
er
is that
Here we see throughout the themes of descent and the balancing of opposites: the basic principles of soul work It is evident in the inserted circles of Demeter and Kali: the nurturing container (she who brings forth new life) and the transformer (she who demands the sacrifice that leads to truth). It is seen in the caduceus: the active equilibrium of opposing forces coming together in such a way as to create a higher form. It is evident in the earth, as child close to her heart, and in the symbols of the Kabbala whose purpose is to connect the finite world with the infinite.
she who demands the sacrifice that leads to truth
Him:O_o
Me:this
is too ironic
I
Sophia is emerging now, in these times of immense change, to challenge us again with her ways of knowing. She instructs us through her basic principles: (1) the creative tension of opposites (2) descent journeys (3) transcendence to a new form. Repetitive experience with each of these principles changes the nature of our ego, our reality and our relationship to “the Other.” These principles demonstrate the dynamism embedded in an energy matrix of Nature and the direction of our soul’s evolution. Awakening to these vital underlying patterns raises intense questions for us about our relationship to nature: questions that now need to be confronted.
see what I was looking for was the quote by Jung,the one where he was saying Sophia is going to return in the near future
on earth
in the body of man
tension of opposites,the truth I was showing you,the fact that I'm bipolar and that I know all good comes from bad
relativity,the boredom that would permit change,disorder
that was 1 and 2
3,the process that would allow us a way of returning..
the happiness.. through love and forgiving...
through learning,through suffering for.. producing positive energy..
Me:Many of the world’s people, like the Buddhists, of course, believe in reincarnation. They hold that it takes more than one lifetime for the soul to mature. The theosophists would say that we all must undergo four initiations before there is sufficient soul infusion for conscious living. They would say that mankind, as a whole, is just entering the 1st initiation, where the heart begins to integrate with the intellect. The second and third initiations have been demonstrated by the lives of such people as Ghandi, Mother Theresa, and the Dalai Lama. Christ was believed to have taken the fourth initiation, which requires a profound sacrifice.
dude
I want to know now,what this "profound sacrifice"
is supposed to be
Him:i wonder...
Me:now..
my mind and heart
were the same
years ago
my intention and my sense of right and wrong
the actions I took fully integrated with my perception of what is "right"
I've always followed my heart
I told you that earlier,too
Me:Sophia has faith in the living processes, and she comes to teach us that. Her reconciliation of dark and light, nature and spirit generates a certain detachment, a wider understanding. She asks us to be more “philosophical”(i.e. philo…sophia ) about our own life and death. In this, she offers us a living universe that is much more immense and complex than held by our present view.
How would a sense of detachment relate to the sustainability of the earth?
.......
Him:?
Me:Jung, again, pointed to a different function of detachment, when he wrote of the process of individuation, the way for increasing self-knowledge. The very principles of the Jungian work: the creative tension of opposites, descent journeys and the transcendent function are born on the carrying wave of the Sophia archetype. These principles move us through matter and ultimately bring greater light and a sense of union. They change our view of reality and the basis of our choices. This is Sophianic wisdom.
this
"dettachment"
Me:Jung, again, pointed to a different function of detachment, when he wrote of the process of individuation, the way for increasing self-knowledge. The very principles of the Jungian work: the creative tension of opposites, descent journeys and the transcendent function are born on the carrying wave of the Sophia archetype. These principles move us through matter and ultimately bring greater light and a sense of union. They change our view of reality and the basis of our choices. This is Sophianic wisdom.
this
Him:huh
Me:this "dettachment"
that they talk about
I think
it applies to the fact that
I'm bipolar
I mean think about it
I said earlier
I was lead to God,had to turn to faith,because I couldn't find it in myself because I couldn't have known it then
because of my despair,my depression,that was a product of my mood disorder,something I can't control
extremes in depression and euphoria
the dettachment I experience from them.. how they "don't make sense"
how I don't control them
Me:how I gave my life to God because I know I can't control that.. I gave my life to faith,because I knew my emotions couldn't.. I couldn't have faith in them making sense as reactions to earthly occurences,necessarily
Me:I had to find faith beyond myself,I had to find something beyond myself to live for,and during depression I have to look outside of myself if I am to find any purpose in continuing to live.. y'know?
Him:yea..
Me:I am forced to see the bigger picture and look outside of the moment. if I didn't,I would have died during the first bout of nonsensical depression
it made me consider things on a more universal level.. it made me think objectively
but I made it my purpose
I chose to give it purpose
Me:I chose to want to save lives,to help people because of my disposition,to continue to learn and to love despite being hurt
i learned how anger is a choice
I learned how my pain is a blessing
I learned how action doesn't allign with intention from other peoples' perspectives
I chose to forgive
to help others,despite being ridiculed
despite being betrayed countless times by the people who have mattered most to me
despite..
being a position that people might consider being completely forsaken by God
and I've suffered countless tragedies.. you know this..
but I still love the people who have hurt me.. I love them al
*all
I know that if they knew what it really meant,they would be hurt mutually.. if I blamed them
for what they don't know
I cannot condemn people for their humanity.. I can't..
you can act on your intention,but the other person cannot see intention
and you know...
why I've always cried
what things have always mattered to me,and what things in life hurt me
right?
Him:right...
Me:you know when I've wanted to die before
it was because I thought it was the right thing to do to benefit the people who matter to me
because.. I didn't want to hurt people,as messed up as that seems
but you remember that,right?
Him:very
I remembered it ver much
Me:I live for love
for giving it
forgiving
forgiving God,for putting me in this position.. for my genetics
forgiving things that truly were never my intention,my fault,but yet they are my fault.. my faults to deal with,to live with
they're also things I am blamed for
by even my parents
they're things I cry for,too,that I am sad when I should be happy in appreciation for the kindness I am shown
that I'm happy when I should lament
is this more than just irony?
could this possibly be fate?
could irony have been fate in disguise this whole time?
Me:and even more symbolic
is how I don't know my mother,nor my father
Me:all I have to say is that it's a good thing I'm as much of a compulsive conversation saver as I am a compulsive writer and playlist maker and fanpage joiner >_>;
roflmao
Him:lol
Me:what do you think of all of this?
Him:maybe a little overwhelming, but
Him:it's really a major travel
Him:?
Him:er, wait
Him:it's really a big view over your entire life as with all of this philosophies; I never have been into it so deep before
Me:I've never expressed it in such depth before,either
not to this extent
craziness.. do you suppose it has any objective validity?
Him:not quite sure...
Me:but the things I showed you,and the things I decribed..
*described
they all made sense along the way,right?
Him:Absolutely
they all pieced togeter
in one way or another
Me:I can't deny my truth
the way I understand things,though
not everybody can understand
I know
not in the way I express them
not when they have no personal experience to understand the connections I try to make
so some people may not care
not until I find the connection.. the way to express it in a way that they can actually hear
something that's not offensive
not to them
something that doesn't give them the false impression I think I'm a better human
and that I appreciate their perspectives
that I,too,want to understand them
that I,too,am imperfect in my own ways.. and that
actually is why I willfully corrupted myself
like the first time I drank alcohol
was for that reason,specifically
that's why I tried weed once,I felt such a disconnect because I didn't have the same background,experience,I couldn't truly relate
I mean that's something I'm truly grateful for,from all of the darkness of my past,is that there are many people I can now relate to that without those experiences I wouldn't have been able to
the price is
I lose my purity in choosing that path,my natural innocence and naivety
and that would in a way seperate me from them,too
and for awhile,I thought it seperated me from God,because
christianity as they had taught it to me would have condemned me for following such a path
for choosing such a thing,even if for the reasons I did
but I figured that if God understood,he must not be that way,truly..
so I disowned some of the more common views of christianity
and catholicism :\
Him:hm
Me:only later did I come to realize what they really were
and why they depicted God in that way
and that I was right all along in what I thought
that God wouldn't leave me when I had pledged my life to him
and that through my pain and suffering,I was being shown the path he wanted me to take.. the one most beneficial to understand things for what they truly are
Me:I knew I knew what I knew
and I know what I know I know
and I'll always know what I've always known
Me:cause I think that's the thing..
truth doesn't change in time
interpretations of truth do
Me:objectively,if I'm wrong,it's because my words fail to communicate my intention properly in the perspective of the listener
I know my truth is still my truth,regardless of the other person's perception
Me:the misunderstanding that results from the perception of space causes me feel sad in thought
*me to feel
because we're not different.. we're all human
we all have more commonalities than differences
animals.. also have the same energy as we do
plants,too
:(
idk, I've been spending all my spare time learning
and trying to make a difference,more and more
Me:that's why I took the initiative to make those groups on facebook,those videos on youtube way back when,why I always offer people a shoulder to cry on,guidance when they're lost and hurt,a way to see the light of any darkness.. y'know?
Him:Yea, I know
Me:I haven't been social
in the way of just
going out and having fun as people would consider it traditionally
it upsets my parents,and I get yelled at for it
they say I'm selfish for it
they punish me for it at times,too
but I know it's because they don't understand,so I don't blame them
Me:I mean there's no point in being offended for something like that,really
even if it hurts me
because if it hurts me.. it's an opportunity to take away somebody's pain
I'd rather people vent on me
because it doesn't hurt me the same way it would hurt them
especially since I'm more used to pain
especially since..
my moods won't be determined by it
o.o
Him:hmm...
Me:I just realized how convinient that is
Him:huh?
Me:the fact that my moods aren't determined by what people say or do
I mean they CAN be
if I decide I should be angry or something and it seems completely logical at the time
and my body was already in the mood of agitation?
my brain tingles when I'm angry
it's a weird thing,almost like biofeedback
when it does that,I realize I'm mad,and I can't stay mad
Me:..I really don't take things personally. Not unless I'm depressed,then everything that ever happened becomes personal.
but then I have to disconnect from the emotion making my logic that way,because.. it's a distortion,and I can't properly judge how much of what I think is true
Me:I'm sorry for rambling so much
I am rambling a crazy amount o.o I don't know why
Him:Dun sweat it
Me:?
Him:?
Me:I thought you were gonna type somethin'
Him:oh
I just remembered what I was about to type
lol
Him:wait, nvm
Him:whoa, I didn't notice the time......Oo
Me:yeah,I just sent my other friend a message,too
lmao
cause
apparently chat isn't working well o.o
Her quote:"Music is like candy: You throw away the (w)rappers."
Me:don't forget the acronym.. (c)rap,because you can't spell crap without rap,and you can't spell rap without thinking of the acronym:
R - rectums
A - attempting
P - prose
55 minutes ago
lol,an hour ago
jeez,time flies
Him:lmao
i know, huh?
Me:srsly
Him:and morning no less...
Me:lol
you should sleep
I should,too
Him:i know
after I restore sound to this latop
ooor after school
lol
yeeeeea, after school
need sleeps
Me:oh snap
school
lol
totally forgot
you REALLY should be asleep
like 5 hours ago
D:
Him:true, but I DID choose to stay up on one hand
Him:I'll be fine, in-between naps during breaks will bring me up to speed, lol
Me:it's not too late to sleep
I could just talk to you tomorrow
Him:mmmkay, cuz I dun want ta worry ya
Me: :)
good
go sleep! lol
Him:that's a difficult decision
Me:that is a hard decision.. I agree
I was thinking about that and other things
but
don't you think God is the one who needs our forgiveness,and needs us to accept him?
cause I mean.. otherwise,wouldn't he not exist?
Him:hmmm....guess he wouldn;t and without him, we wouln't necessarily understood the basics of morality, do we?
Me:well,idk,would we?
it seems the bible has helped us understand that
and so has living
Him:hrmmm, in a way, yes
Me:God isn't physically here
as in like
the specific entity of God,if we consider him as one concept
Him:ahhh
Me:all the pain and suffering we go through,we suffer through it because he created us
if you want to think of him as the divine creator
but it's necessary,because every emotion is based on relative shift in mood
otherwise we wouldn't feel
just like the perception of time is based on relative difference
the perception of difference is based on relative degree of space
and god would be what allowed difference through change
Me:but God,himself,could not exist within the same realm of time and difference,otherwise he wouldn't have truly been the creator,would he?
Me:but God,himself,could not exist within the same realm of time and difference,otherwise he wouldn't have truly been the creator,would he?
Him:huh...
Me:unless it was something trippy like star ocean,and we're all characters in a video game or movie or some shit like that
Him:lol
Me:and there are other dimensions
and the beings can come and go as they please
and even then,they still aren't really Gods,are they?
Him:no, not necessarily
Me:even if they created this world
and this was the video game,the creation
they would not truly be gods
because to exist,something must have created them,if they exist within a construct of difference
this is like super-metaphysical theory right here :3
Him:lmao
Me:what truly doesn't make sense to me
is how have the majority of the people in the world not thought about things this deeply?
how come you don't hear about this type of theory? how come it isn't mainstream when it's pure logic?
I think I know what God is
Him:what?
Me:okay,well.. imagine you died
and you lived in a state of bliss
where things were happy and they stayed that way
heaven
but nothing bad happened
ever
first of all,wouldn't that be a completely phony state of existence?
and secondly,if nothing bad happened,and no pain was felt,we,as humans,would grow accustomed to the "happiness" and it would lose the value it had because it would become normal.. am I right?
Him:yea, that's right
Me:okay,soo....
if it became neutral,and we couldn't feel difference,wouldn't that get..boring?
if it was like the matrix,would you take the red pill?
lol
Him:in plain honesty, it would get boring
hence force, a utopia can easily also be a dystopia at the same time
Me:yes
disorder
even if people had been so horribly hurt in their lifetime
that
they were scarred and scared
without difference,they would ultimately.. forget what difference was,and be driven back to it out of curiousity and desire for change
for an adventure..
even if God created his creation,and the concept of free will
if he could control everything about his reality,and he had a perception in order to have a will,wouldn't he get bored,too?
Me:if he created a world,created a difference,wouldn't he also want to experience that same change himself because he wouldn't have created it without a motivation because otherwise,he wouldn't have conscious will?
Him:umm, yea, I would think, if it was seen to show fit
Me:otherwise,it would imply he doesn't know everything
lol
why would we make a simulation of reality when we know exactly what is going to happen?
there really wouldn't be any surprises,would there?
Him:not so much, yea
Me:it's like a video game
or maple story
you get lvl 200,max mesos,all the rare items,all the fame,everything
then what?
don't you.. start over eventually,if you're going to keep playing the game?
Me:do you see where I'm going with this?
Me:plus,under the laws of the universe,energy must originate from energy
Him:hmm
yea, i see where you were going
Me:God has to be energy
the same energy that our spirit is
the same energy any energy is
and that must be what the self truly is
a product of energy plus our body structure
which makes sense because the cerebral cortex,something
more thoroughly developed in humans compared to most(if
not all) other animals,is what is known to affect states of
consciousness and perception especially
I mean,that's why we'll always exist
just not in the same state of consciousness
and our state of consciousness is constantly changing based
upon neurochemical reactions triggered by changes in our
surrounding our our body's chemistry
or even by self-analysis
*or our
it explains why God wouldn't want us to destroy the meaning
we experience
because it would utterly lead to the destruction of the human
species,destruction of the state of knowing that "created
us",destruction of the ability to appreciate life until it is
rebuilt
which would take alot more senseless suffering
as.. our species would basically go extinct because of our own
failures
and the energy would have to go through the process of
reconstruction.. evolution would just start all over again
Him:that would be one big cycle
Me:which,when we look to the past,isn't that exactly what it has
been?
isn't that what almost everything is?
isn't that what scientists theorize the universe is undergoing?
you do realize
if we are all energy,the self is energy
that time is truly an illusion just as difference is,when you
consider it in that context?
Him:yea, when put in something like that
Me:so then,do you see why the Bible is a very good thing?
why morality is a good thing? o.o
Him:Oo
Me:is that a yeah or a no? lol
Him:yea, I see it
Me:religion
teaches spirituality
reverence for the human spirit,the essence of our existence,God
so we don't have to suffer
but to not suffer perpetually
we have to suffer in the present
that's where karma,reincarnation,the concept of
sin,hell,heaven,nirvana,that's where all of this ties in
that's how
buddhism,paganism,christianity,catholicism,judaism,wiccan
beliefs,all these religions
they're exactly the same.. if they serve the purpose of teaching
morality,they're exactly the same thing..
do you see it?
Him:yea,
I'm definitely seeing it
Me:the problem is
there are mistranslations,misinterpretations
the source of misunderstanding is our different perceptions
but jesus..
we have to accept our humanity and other peoples'
humanity,because we're all the same.. we're the same
energy,we're the same.. we'll all occupy each others' shoes
literally
Me:if we keep destroying humanity,our ability and reason to give
meaning to things,all good will utterly be pointless
and we have to forgive
because anything else is taking positive energy from the whole
process
Me:forgiving allows us to feel love.. positive,motivation for positive
change
it's the action that creates love
and we have to realize that people make mistakes,and that
anger can be a choice,or otherwise it is a product of
misunderstanding
we have to wake up. we need a spiritual awakening,to wake
people up to the idea of having a choice.. that they truly can
live
that they really can control their destiny
Me:because of the misinterpretations of religion and the pain
those misunderstandings cause,people are losing faith,people
are losing the will to forgive or the knowledge of the ability..
they're losing and destroying human will without even
realizing it
now I frankly don't know how
Me:I'm able to see this,but I dedicated my life to living for god at
a young age. I sold my soul for that cause,because I
experienced such devestation,I had nothing but faith,and
since I couldn't create it because I did not know then why I
should have it,I had to borrow it from God
by giving my life,dedicating my life to God and truth,to be
true to myself
I
have been lead to these understandings.. I guess I'm
something of a channel... o.o
Him:o.o
Me:I was born into my life,with my genes
and bipolar disorder was not my choice,nor was the
depression
I suffer beyond what I cause,but I choose to
but because I still have always strived to remain as true to
myself as I possibly could,and I never betrayed myself or my
method of learning
that's why I'm different.. that's why
I didn't have to read these truths to come to understand
them,how to describe them
these aren't just things I've read somewhere
this is a product of my own mind,my logic
I think that it means I'm purely a source of positive energy..
o.o;
because it's easier to die for me,you know
my genes say I should
statistics say I should
I probably should have died over the course of the various
times I tried to
but I didn't,and I learned even more from living
..What do you think this means?
Him:what it means,
Me:?
Him:it's hard to put into words, but kinda like a an intentional miracle, or more like
Me:...now I have to tell you the weirdest parts
when I was in 8th grade,I drew a picture,started to write a story about a fallen angel
who suffered through bipolar disorder,though I didn't know what bipolar disorder really was then,or that I was bipolar
and I wrote an epitath that I can't remember
I don't really remember the story,just that it existed,and that it scared my parents so they took it away
and so then you know how I drew that mandala without knowing what it was,right?
Him:yea?
i remember that
Me:well
I had this feeling
about it
so I went to 4chan.org with it
that's how I found out what it meant
they told me what it was
so I looked it up,and they recommended I look into certain things
I followed that through google,or the link,or w/e
and it lead me to pistis sophia
because apparently
my mandala has the same symbology as the philosopher's stone
and sophia was the creator of it
did I tell you anything about her?
what I read?
Him:not much bout it was said
Me:well.....
A special and richly coloured development is given to the mythical form of the Sophia of the Gnostic Book Pistis Sophia.[67] The two first books of this writing to which the name Pistis Sophia properly belongs, treat for the greater part[68] of the fall, the Repentance, and the Redemption of the Sophia. She has by the ordinance of higher powers obtained an insight into the dwelling-place appropriated to her in the spiritual world, namely, the thesauros lucis which lies beyond the XIIIth Aeon. By her endeavours to direct thither her upward flight, she draws upon herself the enmity of the Authades, Archon of the XIIIth Aeon, and of the Archons of the XII. Aeons under him; by these she is enticed down into the depths of chaos, and is there tormented in the greatest possible variety of ways, in order that so she may incur the loss of her light-nature.
In her utmost need she addresses thirteen penitent prayers (metanoiai) to the Upper Light. Step by step she is led upwards by Christus into the higher regions, though she still remains obnoxious to the assaults of the Archons, and is, after offering her XIIIth Metanoia, more vehemently attacked than ever, till at length Christus leads her down into an intermediate place below the XIIIth Aeon, where she remains till the consummation of the world, and sends up grateful hymns of praise and thanksgiving. The earthly work of redemption having been at length accomplished, the Sophia returns to her original celestial home.
Me: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sophia_(wisdom)
Him:hmm,
Me:the weirder thing is
somebody told me to look at this particular article by Jung
the famous neo-freudian psychologist
Me: http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.cabiz.net/heartlink/philosopherstone.gif&imgrefurl=http://www.cabiz.net/heartlink/jacob_pillar_dna.htm&usg=__2CdTBAzDiISdb5ljGBybWbmftb4=&h=516&w=571&sz=27&hl=en&start=4&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=uy-r97aWo80EgM:&tbnh=121&tbnw=134&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dphilosopher%2527s%2Bstone%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26tbs%3Disch:1
notice how that picture..
scroll down
to where the picture is actually located in the context.
the bit about the jacob's ladder
and the holy grail
and alchemy
Him:mmk
Him:Oo
Me:also
last year
i did kundalini meditation
had a kundalini awakening o.o
Him:oo
Me:there's more
lol
Him:lol
Me: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mandala
Me:jung
is the one
who said that mandala's symbolis
*symbolize
the unconscious,our true state of existence
that they can be used to understand the self,the collective unconscious,as they are universally occuring across many cultures and universally hold symbolic meaning
he
http://www.cgjungpage.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=810&Itemid=40
Me:Buddhism, Christianity, Islam: (530 B.C to 0 – 600 A.D) all make mention of Sophia, yet each tradition adapts her to their own cosmology; and all increasingly become critical of nature. The goal of all these spiritual traditions is to rise above the earth and achieve Nirvana. Heaven, or Paradise.
dude,wtf
Him:Oo
Me:shi
). Mary Magdalene is described here as an intimate of Christ, mentored by Him and recognized as one who supported and taught the apostles. Early tapestries illustrate this prominence and relationship. This gospel records further teachings of Christ, such as:
“All that is born, all that is created and all the elements of nature are interwoven and united with each other.” And then Christ goes on to say: “all that is composed will be decomposed.” This is the fundamental Sophianic challenge: to view ourselves as a process unfolding within nature. Such a view places us beyond religious dogma, and opens us to on-going Creation.
Me:What wisdom awaits us here? Man’s deep fear of illness and death informs his pervasive need to control nature. Certainly, man’s innate intelligence is here to cure illness and provide palliative care for the dying. What we have not done is penetrate further into how fundamentally we are interwoven and united with nature, and how she provides the cog-wheel of our evolution.
Me:Henri Corbin has written: “It is not the incarnate Sophia’s role to bind or connect us to the earth, but to help us recognize that our understanding of ourselves as separate from the earth is a delusion.”
I hadn't been
at this page
before
omfg
the..irony...omg
Him:O.o
Me:what makes it
weird
er
is that
Here we see throughout the themes of descent and the balancing of opposites: the basic principles of soul work It is evident in the inserted circles of Demeter and Kali: the nurturing container (she who brings forth new life) and the transformer (she who demands the sacrifice that leads to truth). It is seen in the caduceus: the active equilibrium of opposing forces coming together in such a way as to create a higher form. It is evident in the earth, as child close to her heart, and in the symbols of the Kabbala whose purpose is to connect the finite world with the infinite.
she who demands the sacrifice that leads to truth
Him:O_o
Me:this
is too ironic
I
Sophia is emerging now, in these times of immense change, to challenge us again with her ways of knowing. She instructs us through her basic principles: (1) the creative tension of opposites (2) descent journeys (3) transcendence to a new form. Repetitive experience with each of these principles changes the nature of our ego, our reality and our relationship to “the Other.” These principles demonstrate the dynamism embedded in an energy matrix of Nature and the direction of our soul’s evolution. Awakening to these vital underlying patterns raises intense questions for us about our relationship to nature: questions that now need to be confronted.
see what I was looking for was the quote by Jung,the one where he was saying Sophia is going to return in the near future
on earth
in the body of man
tension of opposites,the truth I was showing you,the fact that I'm bipolar and that I know all good comes from bad
relativity,the boredom that would permit change,disorder
that was 1 and 2
3,the process that would allow us a way of returning..
the happiness.. through love and forgiving...
through learning,through suffering for.. producing positive energy..
Me:Many of the world’s people, like the Buddhists, of course, believe in reincarnation. They hold that it takes more than one lifetime for the soul to mature. The theosophists would say that we all must undergo four initiations before there is sufficient soul infusion for conscious living. They would say that mankind, as a whole, is just entering the 1st initiation, where the heart begins to integrate with the intellect. The second and third initiations have been demonstrated by the lives of such people as Ghandi, Mother Theresa, and the Dalai Lama. Christ was believed to have taken the fourth initiation, which requires a profound sacrifice.
dude
I want to know now,what this "profound sacrifice"
is supposed to be
Him:i wonder...
Me:now..
my mind and heart
were the same
years ago
my intention and my sense of right and wrong
the actions I took fully integrated with my perception of what is "right"
I've always followed my heart
I told you that earlier,too
Me:Sophia has faith in the living processes, and she comes to teach us that. Her reconciliation of dark and light, nature and spirit generates a certain detachment, a wider understanding. She asks us to be more “philosophical”(i.e. philo…sophia ) about our own life and death. In this, she offers us a living universe that is much more immense and complex than held by our present view.
How would a sense of detachment relate to the sustainability of the earth?
.......
Him:?
Me:Jung, again, pointed to a different function of detachment, when he wrote of the process of individuation, the way for increasing self-knowledge. The very principles of the Jungian work: the creative tension of opposites, descent journeys and the transcendent function are born on the carrying wave of the Sophia archetype. These principles move us through matter and ultimately bring greater light and a sense of union. They change our view of reality and the basis of our choices. This is Sophianic wisdom.
this
"dettachment"
Me:Jung, again, pointed to a different function of detachment, when he wrote of the process of individuation, the way for increasing self-knowledge. The very principles of the Jungian work: the creative tension of opposites, descent journeys and the transcendent function are born on the carrying wave of the Sophia archetype. These principles move us through matter and ultimately bring greater light and a sense of union. They change our view of reality and the basis of our choices. This is Sophianic wisdom.
this
Him:huh
Me:this "dettachment"
that they talk about
I think
it applies to the fact that
I'm bipolar
I mean think about it
I said earlier
I was lead to God,had to turn to faith,because I couldn't find it in myself because I couldn't have known it then
because of my despair,my depression,that was a product of my mood disorder,something I can't control
extremes in depression and euphoria
the dettachment I experience from them.. how they "don't make sense"
how I don't control them
Me:how I gave my life to God because I know I can't control that.. I gave my life to faith,because I knew my emotions couldn't.. I couldn't have faith in them making sense as reactions to earthly occurences,necessarily
Me:I had to find faith beyond myself,I had to find something beyond myself to live for,and during depression I have to look outside of myself if I am to find any purpose in continuing to live.. y'know?
Him:yea..
Me:I am forced to see the bigger picture and look outside of the moment. if I didn't,I would have died during the first bout of nonsensical depression
it made me consider things on a more universal level.. it made me think objectively
but I made it my purpose
I chose to give it purpose
Me:I chose to want to save lives,to help people because of my disposition,to continue to learn and to love despite being hurt
i learned how anger is a choice
I learned how my pain is a blessing
I learned how action doesn't allign with intention from other peoples' perspectives
I chose to forgive
to help others,despite being ridiculed
despite being betrayed countless times by the people who have mattered most to me
despite..
being a position that people might consider being completely forsaken by God
and I've suffered countless tragedies.. you know this..
but I still love the people who have hurt me.. I love them al
*all
I know that if they knew what it really meant,they would be hurt mutually.. if I blamed them
for what they don't know
I cannot condemn people for their humanity.. I can't..
you can act on your intention,but the other person cannot see intention
and you know...
why I've always cried
what things have always mattered to me,and what things in life hurt me
right?
Him:right...
Me:you know when I've wanted to die before
it was because I thought it was the right thing to do to benefit the people who matter to me
because.. I didn't want to hurt people,as messed up as that seems
but you remember that,right?
Him:very
I remembered it ver much
Me:I live for love
for giving it
forgiving
forgiving God,for putting me in this position.. for my genetics
forgiving things that truly were never my intention,my fault,but yet they are my fault.. my faults to deal with,to live with
they're also things I am blamed for
by even my parents
they're things I cry for,too,that I am sad when I should be happy in appreciation for the kindness I am shown
that I'm happy when I should lament
is this more than just irony?
could this possibly be fate?
could irony have been fate in disguise this whole time?
Me:and even more symbolic
is how I don't know my mother,nor my father
Me:all I have to say is that it's a good thing I'm as much of a compulsive conversation saver as I am a compulsive writer and playlist maker and fanpage joiner >_>;
roflmao
Him:lol
Me:what do you think of all of this?
Him:maybe a little overwhelming, but
Him:it's really a major travel
Him:?
Him:er, wait
Him:it's really a big view over your entire life as with all of this philosophies; I never have been into it so deep before
Me:I've never expressed it in such depth before,either
not to this extent
craziness.. do you suppose it has any objective validity?
Him:not quite sure...
Me:but the things I showed you,and the things I decribed..
*described
they all made sense along the way,right?
Him:Absolutely
they all pieced togeter
in one way or another
Me:I can't deny my truth
the way I understand things,though
not everybody can understand
I know
not in the way I express them
not when they have no personal experience to understand the connections I try to make
so some people may not care
not until I find the connection.. the way to express it in a way that they can actually hear
something that's not offensive
not to them
something that doesn't give them the false impression I think I'm a better human
and that I appreciate their perspectives
that I,too,want to understand them
that I,too,am imperfect in my own ways.. and that
actually is why I willfully corrupted myself
like the first time I drank alcohol
was for that reason,specifically
that's why I tried weed once,I felt such a disconnect because I didn't have the same background,experience,I couldn't truly relate
I mean that's something I'm truly grateful for,from all of the darkness of my past,is that there are many people I can now relate to that without those experiences I wouldn't have been able to
the price is
I lose my purity in choosing that path,my natural innocence and naivety
and that would in a way seperate me from them,too
and for awhile,I thought it seperated me from God,because
christianity as they had taught it to me would have condemned me for following such a path
for choosing such a thing,even if for the reasons I did
but I figured that if God understood,he must not be that way,truly..
so I disowned some of the more common views of christianity
and catholicism :\
Him:hm
Me:only later did I come to realize what they really were
and why they depicted God in that way
and that I was right all along in what I thought
that God wouldn't leave me when I had pledged my life to him
and that through my pain and suffering,I was being shown the path he wanted me to take.. the one most beneficial to understand things for what they truly are
Me:I knew I knew what I knew
and I know what I know I know
and I'll always know what I've always known
Me:cause I think that's the thing..
truth doesn't change in time
interpretations of truth do
Me:objectively,if I'm wrong,it's because my words fail to communicate my intention properly in the perspective of the listener
I know my truth is still my truth,regardless of the other person's perception
Me:the misunderstanding that results from the perception of space causes me feel sad in thought
*me to feel
because we're not different.. we're all human
we all have more commonalities than differences
animals.. also have the same energy as we do
plants,too
:(
idk, I've been spending all my spare time learning
and trying to make a difference,more and more
Me:that's why I took the initiative to make those groups on facebook,those videos on youtube way back when,why I always offer people a shoulder to cry on,guidance when they're lost and hurt,a way to see the light of any darkness.. y'know?
Him:Yea, I know
Me:I haven't been social
in the way of just
going out and having fun as people would consider it traditionally
it upsets my parents,and I get yelled at for it
they say I'm selfish for it
they punish me for it at times,too
but I know it's because they don't understand,so I don't blame them
Me:I mean there's no point in being offended for something like that,really
even if it hurts me
because if it hurts me.. it's an opportunity to take away somebody's pain
I'd rather people vent on me
because it doesn't hurt me the same way it would hurt them
especially since I'm more used to pain
especially since..
my moods won't be determined by it
o.o
Him:hmm...
Me:I just realized how convinient that is
Him:huh?
Me:the fact that my moods aren't determined by what people say or do
I mean they CAN be
if I decide I should be angry or something and it seems completely logical at the time
and my body was already in the mood of agitation?
my brain tingles when I'm angry
it's a weird thing,almost like biofeedback
when it does that,I realize I'm mad,and I can't stay mad
Me:..I really don't take things personally. Not unless I'm depressed,then everything that ever happened becomes personal.
but then I have to disconnect from the emotion making my logic that way,because.. it's a distortion,and I can't properly judge how much of what I think is true
Me:I'm sorry for rambling so much
I am rambling a crazy amount o.o I don't know why
Him:Dun sweat it
Me:?
Him:?
Me:I thought you were gonna type somethin'
Him:oh
I just remembered what I was about to type
lol
Him:wait, nvm
Him:whoa, I didn't notice the time......Oo
Me:yeah,I just sent my other friend a message,too
lmao
cause
apparently chat isn't working well o.o
Her quote:"Music is like candy: You throw away the (w)rappers."
Me:don't forget the acronym.. (c)rap,because you can't spell crap without rap,and you can't spell rap without thinking of the acronym:
R - rectums
A - attempting
P - prose
55 minutes ago
lol,an hour ago
jeez,time flies
Him:lmao
i know, huh?
Me:srsly
Him:and morning no less...
Me:lol
you should sleep
I should,too
Him:i know
after I restore sound to this latop
ooor after school
lol
yeeeeea, after school
need sleeps
Me:oh snap
school
lol
totally forgot
you REALLY should be asleep
like 5 hours ago
D:
Him:true, but I DID choose to stay up on one hand
Him:I'll be fine, in-between naps during breaks will bring me up to speed, lol
Me:it's not too late to sleep
I could just talk to you tomorrow
Him:mmmkay, cuz I dun want ta worry ya
Me: :)
good
go sleep! lol
Sunday, April 4, 2010
I know I'm not more perfect than anybody else..
And there are things I see happening that I am hurt by.. my heart is hurt by..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPnz2E2uTh8
Highest Rated Comments Eye2EyeIIIV True. I believe Christianity is the one true religion because:
- It is the most insulted religion
- The most lied about religion
- It has the biggest accurate holy book
- Jesus Christ is the only prophet that rose from the dead and is still living
- The Great Pyramid proves it (octaman[.]com/comments/onetruereligion[.]html)
- It is the most criticized and attacked religion
- Everything makes a whole lot more sense
- It hits the nail right on the head about man's sin nature.
- It gives answers. 3 5 months ago
.......................................
People like this, they don't see because they haven't seen the same light.. perhaps because they are unable,but..
It is also the most interpretted religion :(
It is translated into the most holy books(many interpretations of the bible)
Jesus is depicted several different ways by several individuals
It is the most criticized and attacked religion because it is the most diversely interpretted and impressed one by its many followers
the answers are placed in the bible to be found by those who seek,and to help guide us to faith when we learn we are lost..
It preaches about the human condition; something we all share
It causes much war because everybody thinks they have "the correct answer",the correct definition of terms that are best shown in context and subject to our different pasts, not invalididated by the illusion of difference.
Christianity is not one religion, but its many divisions are connected through similarities in belief.. Jesus..
But many Christians do not read the Bible, do not open their eyes and hearts to other people and their many truths, or the truth that we are all human.. all mutually vulnerable to the sin, and that we have no right to judge, and that God himself opens heaven's gates to all who open themselves to fate,and turns away none solely based on mistakes. If you look outside of the immediate impressions people have,you learn that many religious teachings are almost synonymous, but the difference of word choice seperates,limits people as they ignore the value of meaning and discriminate.. But God is meaning, God is the spirit in all of us, God is the gift of choice and forgiveness, God is the hope we can be shown the light.. and he teaches a greater wisdom than most can afford to see.
Yes, I believe a person can be Buddhist and Christian and human.. all at the same time,and that no matter what,we will always,as we live these lives we lead,be human..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPnz2E2uTh8
Highest Rated Comments Eye2EyeIIIV True. I believe Christianity is the one true religion because:
- It is the most insulted religion
- The most lied about religion
- It has the biggest accurate holy book
- Jesus Christ is the only prophet that rose from the dead and is still living
- The Great Pyramid proves it (octaman[.]com/comments/onetruereligion[.]html)
- It is the most criticized and attacked religion
- Everything makes a whole lot more sense
- It hits the nail right on the head about man's sin nature.
- It gives answers. 3 5 months ago
.......................................
People like this, they don't see because they haven't seen the same light.. perhaps because they are unable,but..
It is also the most interpretted religion :(
It is translated into the most holy books(many interpretations of the bible)
Jesus is depicted several different ways by several individuals
It is the most criticized and attacked religion because it is the most diversely interpretted and impressed one by its many followers
the answers are placed in the bible to be found by those who seek,and to help guide us to faith when we learn we are lost..
It preaches about the human condition; something we all share
It causes much war because everybody thinks they have "the correct answer",the correct definition of terms that are best shown in context and subject to our different pasts, not invalididated by the illusion of difference.
Christianity is not one religion, but its many divisions are connected through similarities in belief.. Jesus..
But many Christians do not read the Bible, do not open their eyes and hearts to other people and their many truths, or the truth that we are all human.. all mutually vulnerable to the sin, and that we have no right to judge, and that God himself opens heaven's gates to all who open themselves to fate,and turns away none solely based on mistakes. If you look outside of the immediate impressions people have,you learn that many religious teachings are almost synonymous, but the difference of word choice seperates,limits people as they ignore the value of meaning and discriminate.. But God is meaning, God is the spirit in all of us, God is the gift of choice and forgiveness, God is the hope we can be shown the light.. and he teaches a greater wisdom than most can afford to see.
Yes, I believe a person can be Buddhist and Christian and human.. all at the same time,and that no matter what,we will always,as we live these lives we lead,be human..
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